Ah yes, the sun is shining, the temperature is just about perfect, and there is no reason you shouldn't go outside- except acne. Evil comes in many forms from people who don't ever have to get braces to any creature in Australia, but the evil of all evils is acne. You never know when it will arrive or go away. There is no mercy with acne. Anyone with acne, especially as an adult, knows all too well the struggles that are accompanied with those measly little bumps.
1. People who complain about their acne that isn't actually there.
Shut your face, you have nothing but perfection and flawlessness! You don't even need makeup.
2. Which brings me to people that have flawless skin.
I have no shame in admitting that I am jealous of your perfect skin, but I think that you need to know the struggles and frustrations of acne. You suck.
3. Acne is evil, but stress acne is much, much worse.
Being a college student, there is no real escape from stress, let alone stress acne. Severe acne loves arriving during times of extreme stress, as if your finals weren't enough stress. The only A you'll get is Acne. If only that C was for Clear.
4. Acne can be compared to an episode of "The Walking Dead."
Just when you think that everything is clear and you've had two straight days of clear skin, acne is sure enough right around the corner and is ready to destroy all hopes and dreams of possible clear skin now and in the future.
5. When people tell you to try a different diet to help your acne.
Shut up, Karen, I don't want your vegan, faux-water, air-only diet BS all up in my bad food decisions.
6. You try to not touch your face.
Hands have oil that will spread bacteria all over it, so you should obviously not touch it, right?
7. However, the acne taunts you.
You just can't handle it anymore, you think it about it all day and all night, those bumpy little jerks just staring at you. You. Must. Destroy. It.
8. And then you are a left with regret.
Why the heck did you do that, fam!? Now there are more pimples and your whole face looks like a tomato!
9. THE LITTLE SUCKERS HURT, TOO.
It's already rough dealing with trying to hide them, but to add pain on top of it? REALLY?
10. Oh, and makeup?
Makeup works until you sweat it off from fear that everyone can still see your acne or your face gets too oily after two minutes, whichever comes first. Oh yeah, not to count that your makeup clogs your pores more and makes you look like an alien from how much you have to use.
11. You probably are broke from trying everything.
Proactiv is expensive, benzoyl cleanse is expensive, any prescription medicine is expensive, witchcraft is expensive, etc.... You get the point.
12. Speaking of Proactiv...
It doesn't work. We need you all to stop telling us to try it, especially if you don't have acne problems.
13. On top of pain and discomfort, you also feel self-conscious.
Do people think I look weird? Should I just hide in my room forever? Everyone is staring at my huge pimples and judging me.
14. You've tried all different types of remedies.
BRB, going to hit up the Witch Doctor on the other side of the universe. They said she's great for acne treatment.
15. Your reaction when waking up and seeing a million of them in the mirror.
What in the name of Zeus it that?!
16. Also, mirrors are your worst nightmare.
Why must you do this to me, oh evil one?
17. Finding the perfect lighting.
Standing on your tippy-toes just so you can find the perfect amount of lighting to blind out your acne in your selfies. You think I'm this hot this naturally? Please.
18. Two words: Cystic acne.
They are invisible, excruciatingly painful pimples that haunt you no matter where you go. Why am I crying, you ask? Because my face feels like it is melting off from the pain of cystic acne.
19. PEOPLE THAT TOUCH YOUR FACE ARE THE WORST.
Get your grimy, bacteria-encrusted, sweaty palms away from my face, sir. I will roundhouse kick you.
20. Okay, fess up, you totally love popping your pimples once in awhile.
It is the single greatest feeling in the world. Don't even deny it. It's amazing. Might as well treat yo' self to popping those little suckers once in awhile... Or all the time...
Overall, acne may suck, but at least you have a killer personality and charm the heck out of others with your brilliance. Go get 'em, you sexy, wild beasts.
