It’s that time of year again: gyms across America are packed with people trying to lose weight, restaurants are significantly less busy, malls turn into empty, barren deserts, and everyone tries their hardest to have a fresh outlook on life. That’s right, I’m talking about New Year’s and the promises we all made. All of the “New Year’s Resolution-ers” are in full swing for pretty much the entire month of January, until they lose steam and revert back to their old ways. Here are 18 New Year’s Resolutions that will surely only last for the month of January, if they even make it that long and the reasons/excuses of why you just couldn't keep that resolution any longer.
1. Exercise daily
Unless you are literally superman, working out every single day is just not going to happen, no matter how many times you tell yourself you HAVE to stick with it. Life (a hangover) happens sometimes, and making it to the gym is just out of the question.
2. Clock more hours
Making more money sounds good in theory, but when Friday night rolls around and you want to actually do something with your life and you can't because you signed up for a stupid shift, it flat out sucks. You're only young once, enjoy it as much as you can.
3. Dress nicely every day
But it's cold when you wake sometimes and you just want to stay in the same clothes you slept in last night...(so you don't have to expose your body to the arctic tundra also known as your room).
4. Cut out fast food
When you're on your way to somewhere, you haven't eaten in six hours and your stomach is grumbling, are you really going to stop yourself every single time? The answer is most likely no.
5. Stop gossiping
The face of the matter is, there are always going to be people you don't like or don't get along with. When your friends bring them up in conversation, it's human nature to inject your opinion. If you say you like them, you'd be lying, and no one likes a liar, right?
6. Sleep more
Whoever said you have to pick three of of four things in college: sleep, a social life, good grades and a good body, that person was right. Sleep is always the one that never seems to make the cut.
7. Stop procrastinating
But there's a party tonight, you can just study for your exam an hour before the test, right?
8.Go to the dentist
Nobody likes the dentist. Nobody.
9. Cut down on social media use
What else on earth would you possibly do in every single second of your spare time, other than stalk your enemies and all your significant other's exes?
10. Get more organized
It's just so much easier to throw stuff on any surface you can find, than to actually put it away. If it's not all over the floor, the room is clean, right?
11. Cook more
Why cook when you could just go to Chipotle instead? I mean, it's not that bad for you when you don't get E.Coli.
12. Stop calling your ex
Sorry to break it to you, but no matter how many pictures on your Instagram he likes or how many times he drunk texts you, he doesn't want to get back together.
13. Read more
Who can bring themselves to read for pleasure when they just finished six hours of assigned readings from class?
14. Take the stairs instead of the elevator
You're always in a "hurry" and "need" to take the elevator because it's quicker, don't fool yourself.
15. Wake up earlier
But it's cold...and you're tired...and you only slept for a mere five hours.
16. Get rid of old clothes
Getting rid of old clothes is not a thing. All it really consists of is standing in front of your closet asking yourself if you need it or not, and then making an extremely dumb excuse as to why you need that t-shirt you wore in 4th grade when you won the spelling bee.
17. Talk to people on the phone instead of texting
Unless it's your mom or best friend, it's just straight up awkward.
18. Concentrate better in class
"Class" aka "refreshing Facebook for an hour."
