When you have an invisible illness or illnesses, most people say the same thing every time you tell them about your medical condition. When you have a chronic medical condition, meaning they never go away, such as Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Chronic Migraines, ect., you tend to have to explain yourself multiple times in many different ways. So, when we tell you we have a chronic medical condition, please don't say this to us.
1. "I thought only old people got that?"
Medical conditions do not discriminate. You can get any medical condition at any age, though some may be more common in someone of a certain age.
2. "You could have cancer."
We are not trying to compete with other people's medical conditions. When you have a medical condition you want to get better or find a way to control the condition better. No matter what medical problem you have, we want everyone to get better.
3. "But you don't look sick..."
Personally, this one irritates me the most. What is sick supposed to look like? Please never say this to us. And if you do, please expect to be questioned.
4. "It's all in your head."
No, it's not just in my head. I have inappropriate sinus tachycardia, which means my heart rate is over 100 beats per minute for no reason. You can't "think" certain medical conditions. You could say that it's because of stress or anxiety, but no, it's not.
5. "Have you tried...."
Yes, we probably have. We have tried yoga, meditation and weird diets, they don't do anything. Unless you are a doctor of some sort, please don't tell us to try your weird, probably made-up thing. We aren't trying to be rude by telling you no, it's just because we have probably tried it and it hasn't worked.
6. "My sister's friend's second cousin had that."
Ugh. Just because you know someone that had or has the same medical problem(s) we do, does not make you an expert on said medical problem(s). Please don't try to tell us something about our medical problem that we either already know or that we know is false.
7. "How do you know what that means?"
When we get diagnosed with a medical problem, most of the time we look up anything and everything that has to do with the medical diagnosis. That includes medications and other forms of treatments.
8. "You're just having a bad day."
No, we are not just having a bad day. If we are having a bad day, you probably wouldn't see us or be telling us this. When we are having a bad day we won't be leaving the house and possibly won't be getting out of bed. If we leave the house, chances are we are having a good day.
9. "If must be great not having to go to work/school!"
If you categorize having little to no socialization with the outside world, then yes it's great. No, not being able to go someplace because you might not be able to physically keep up with everyone or you know that you will end up being in an excruciating amount of pain after going out with friends or family, it sucks. We wish we could go to work or to school. Playing hooky or calling out sick once in a while must be great, but for us it's terrible.
10. "Will you die?!?!"
Not every medical problem will kill you! No, chances are whatever medical problem(s) we have will not kill us. This question is weird to get asked, please don't ask this question.
11. "Get well soon."
You mean well when you tell us this, but please don't. Say this to someone who has the flu or a broken leg, but never to someone who has a chronic illness. When you have a chronic illness you know that you will never get better. Most people don't know that your condition is chronic, but it can drive us crazy when you tell us to get well soon.
12. "You should exercise more."
Yes, exercising can help us, but it's hard to get out to exercise when you're sick. Telling someone who has a chronic illness to get out and exercise is like telling someone who has the flu to go and run a marathon, especially if your condition gives you a lot of pain.
13. "I know how you feel."
UNLESS YOU HAVE A CHRONIC MEDICAL CONDITION NEVER SAY THIS TO US!
14. "It can't be that bad."
Yes, yes it can. You don't know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes.
15. "You look terrible."
We look terrible and probably feel worse than we look. This is just rude and insulting to say to someone, chronically ill or not.
16. "You're canceling on me again?"
I hate calling or texting people at the last minute and telling them that I can't do something. This happens to me more often than I would like it too. If I call or text you and tell you that I can't do something please don't take it personally.
These are just a few things not to say to someone who has a chronic illness or illnesses. There are tons more that could be added to this list. Just think before you say something like this to someone who is chronically ill.
