Growing up with social anxiety was never easy or fun. It really affected the way I lived my daily life. But honestly, college made me overcome the worst of it and I've grown into a much more functioning human being. There are still some odd quirky things that I do though that make sense to me because I've been doing them my whole life but when I explain it to my friends, they don't agree. So hopefully some of you out there agree with some of these.
1. There have been times where you completely walk in a different direction to avoid someone.
Whether it be because you don't like them or even just because you don't really feel like talking to anyone at that time, walking in a different path from them just seems like the better option.
2. Your heart races anytime you have to speak up in front of a group, or anyone.
Even if it's just to say "Here" for roll call.
3. You find yourself in the most awkward situations.
It's just you for some reason. You always get put in these situations that you're not really sure what to do or what to say.
4. Public transportation is your personal hell.
There are so many people and so many processes and it's just stressful. What if you miss your stop? But you know the most relieving feeling is when you finally find a seat in the back and you can just put on your headphones and ignore everything else.
5. Being in large group settings makes you nervous.
There's just too many people and it gets overwhelming. Sometimes you just want to go home and be alone.
6. Online shopping is your best friend.
Oh, you're telling me that there's an option where I don't have to go out in public and be with people face-to-face? Yes, please.
7. When your friend brings a person who doesn't know to your plans.
It just makes everything uncomfortable and you become quiet and reserved. Then your friend will ask you, "What's wrong" and because they're your friend you suck it up and say, "Nothing".
8. No plans are the best plans.
I'd rather stay in bed with my blankets and Netflix than get ready and go out.
9. Small talk makes you sweat.
You always try to steer the conversation away from yourself and whenever there are long awkward pauses you feel as if your heart is going to come out of your chest.
10. When your teacher says, "Partner up" and in that moment you want to die.
If there is no one you know in the class, having to find a partner is the worst because you are shy as hell.
11. When all the attention is on you, you don't know what to do.
So many eyes on you, so much judgment.
12. Headphones are your security blanket.
They cut the rest of the world off and you can just listen to your music happily. They're also a great excuse not to talk to anyone.
13. Eye contact makes you really uncomfortable.
When you talk to a person your eyes go literally everywhere other than the person's eyes. If there is prolonged eye contact, it makes your whole body freeze up.
14. Talking to attractive people is actually impossible.
You're afraid that you're going to say something stupid or embarrass yourself or that they're judging you in some way. Also, looking at them is intimidating because their face is just so perfect.
15. You have to know every detail of the plan before you go.
What time do we have to go? Who's going to be there? Is there food? Do I have to bring anything? What are we supposed to do when we get there? How much money should I bring? And the list goes on and on...
All in all, you do your very best to function in society and any day that you survive is a complete success. So go out there and be your best awkward self!
