Reflecting on my first two years at college, I've really learned a lot. I knew hardly anything before college, compared to what I've learned since attending it. I am looking forward to learning more in the coming years, but here are 15 of the most important and significant things I learned so far:
1. You don't have to be involved in everything.
When I first got to school, I signed up for a ton of different clubs and activities. Soon I realized that I only really felt passionate for a couple of them, and didn't have time to do all of them anyway. It's important to stay involved, but I think it's better to join a few clubs you truly feel passionate about and give your all to them rather than dipping your toes into a bunch of different groups. It's easy to get burnt out if you try to do too much.
2. You can't be friends with everyone.
But that didn't stop me from trying! I tried so hard to be friends with anyone and everyone and all it did was leave me feeling exhausted. Most of the people weren't even trying to be my friends in return, and I should've trusted that God was going to show me who the important people in my life would be. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be friendly to everyone, of course. And if you feel that instant friend connection, ask them to go grab ice cream or have a study party. Just don't exhaust all your energy on every person you meet.
3. Sometimes, all you can do is be patient.
I won't lie, college started out rough for me. I was on my own for the first time, I didn't want to go out and drink and I was still a pretty shy and insecure person freshman year. I thought about transferring more than once. I'm so glad that I found it in myself to be patient, because things did get so much better. There will always be hard times, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world, and it most likely will get better!
4. It is perfectly OK to choose not to drink.
Anyone who tells you differently is dealing with a personal problem. And believe me, it is worth the wait to find friends who agree with or at least completely respect your decision. Don't settle for friends who are going to pressure you or try to change you.
5. Your true friends will make themselves known.
It wasn't until sophomore year that I began to become fully confident in who my friends were, and who weren't my real friends. People I thought were my true friends freshmen year ended up being strangers sophomore year, and people who were newer to me ended up becoming some of my closest friends. Here's a tip for making sure someone is a true friend: ask yourself, am I the only one putting effort into this relationship? If the answer is yes, it might be time to look elsewhere for friends.
6. Going to class is important.
I'm going to be honest, I have skipped my fair share of class. This really affected me my sophomore year when I got a poor grade because of it, and I know I really need to buckle down and go to class. Every day, every class, unless I'm truly sick. Even if it's a blow-off class...you just never know. Plus, every class costs a lot of money when tuition is so expensive.
7. Making an appointment at the counseling center is a really great idea.
Even if you think you won't need it, or think it won't help, you never know. Transitioning into college is hard for a variety of different reasons. And with the amount of young people who suffer from depression and anxiety these days, I think everyone could benefit from a conversation with a counselor every once in awhile.
8. It's better to have a few really good friends than a ton of cheap ones.
Back to the whole true friend thing. I've never been someone who has known everyone and could make friends with anyone. It usually takes me a long time to make friends. But college taught me to be grateful for this, because the friends I make are usually longer-lasting and deeper friendships. You don't always have that when you make a friend within five minutes. It's OK if your friendships take longer to develop, I promise!
9. Retreats are sweet.
If you've never been on a retreat before, like I hadn't before college, I highly recommend them. Whether you are religious or not, I guarantee there is a retreat out there for you. They are a great way to get away from campus, meet new people, take a break from social media, and learn and experience new things. One of the best weekends of my life took place at a retreat.
10. Self-care is important.
Whether it's a nap, a long shower, a counselor appointment or a cup of coffee, self-care is one of the most important things in college. Even if it means passing up a social night to spend some time alone!
11. Independence feels really great, but it's important to use it wisely.
I honestly didn't think I would be able to survive without my parents, but it was so much easier and more wonderful than I ever expected to be independent. However, that doesn't mean you should be any less responsible. You're in charge of keeping yourself healthy, safe and happy.
12. There's no point in being anyone but yourself.
You may be one of those people who is pumped to have a blank slate in college. I know I was. But it's always vital to remember, this doesn't mean you have to completely change yourself or pretend to be someone you're not. Be the beautiful you that you are, and everyone else will respect and appreciate you more for it.
13. It's hard to keep a balanced life.
I'm not going to lie and say that it's easy to get enough sleep, do all your homework, have ample time to spend with friends and still have time for yourself. It's a very delicate balance and prioritizing and making lists is a really great idea. You're still never going to have everything perfectly together, and that's OK! It's college, and you're only human.
14. You don't have to be busy all the time.
Watching the people around me rushing from event to event kind of stressed me out and made me think I needed to be that busy with activities. Then I watched this documentary that talked about how we all try to be really busy and fill our time incessantly, but that we don't need to do that. It was really mind-opening to me because it basically let me know that it's okay to not be that busy. It's great if you're involved and live a balanced life, but don't let your business overshadow your relationships, schoolwork and sleep schedule.
15. I love college and I love my school.
For me, college has been a lot better than high school so far, and I couldn't imagine myself at a different college. The University of Dayton really is my home. I can only hope that everyone will find themselves loving college and their school as much as I have.
