Taking a long road trip with some of my best friends was one of the many items on my bucket list that I couldn’t wait to cross off. I thought it would be just like in the movies; we would gain new memories together, experience meaningful and spiritual journeys and bond in ways we never thought possible. I romanticized the whole idea. I used to daydream of us all cruising along in an old Volkswagen van, listening to music that magically fit the mood and not once was there ever any traffic. What I have come to find, however, is just how wrong I was. Being locked in a metal vehicle, no matter how large, for an extended period of time with multiple personalities that don’t always mesh well will result in minor chaos. I learned that while on a road trip with my closest friends, a person undergoes about 15 different stages, which are:
1. Pre-departure jitters
You’re young, you’re naïve, you’re hopelessly unaware of how painful being enclosed in a small space for multiple consecutive hours with other people can be.
2. Your friend starts up the engine and pulls out of the driveway and you are finally hitting the road!
You can feel the initial excitement as you blast the perfect road jam to start off the trip.
3. 6 songs in, you’re still singing as loud as you can and loving life.
The ignorance of reality is very VERY real.
4. How many signs can you pass that read “SAVE ON INSURANCE FAST?"
And how long has it been, anyway?
5. You look at the clock for the first time.
You're thinking, It’s probably been three hours right? This trip is flying by! What you find, however, is that it has only been 45 minutes.
6. Someone suggests playing a friendly road trip game.
You happily agree! Anything to pass the time.
7. Update: no one in the car is talking anymore.
The game got heated and resulted in a huge fight.
8. To alleviate the tension, you play the song everyone can’t resist singing along to.
Spirits are up high again, you all have forgotten what you were fighting about and the fun times road trip is back on track!
9. Uh-oh.
You have entered into the realm of the big city and traffic is a nightmare. This is why Mom said you should leave earlier.
10. An hour later, you are still in traffic.
Delirium has set in.
11. Update: Someone has found a sheet of stickers and put them all over her face.
Another person has begun to have an emotional breakdown over the realization that he most likely failed a midterm. The driver has begun yelling at other cars in blind rage and you suggest it’s time to pull over to get some fresh air, stretch your legs, and regain mental stability.
12. Everyone is back in the car after a much needed snack break.
The gas tank has been filled up, and you are on the road once again. Things can only get better from here.
13. Hoping that you are close to your destination, you glance at the clock once more.
Please please please be almost there, you think to yourself. I don’t know if I can stand to be in this sardine can any longer. Sadly, there are still two hours left of this journey.
14. Blankly staring ahead, you hear an argument growing between the driver and the co-pilot about a missed exit that has added another 45 minutes to the trip.
You have come to the conclusion that it is as good a time as any to put in some headphones and take a nap …
15. You wake up, suddenly, because someone is shoving your shoulder and shouting at you, “We made it! Wake up! We’re here!”
You jump out of the car and yell, “LAND! SOLID LAND! SWEET SWEET SOLID LAND!” Everyone is out and running around, hugging one another and laughing! The feelings are unanimous. What a great road trip. What a glorious bonding experience. What a time to be alive.
