We've all been there. We have eaten all the things all day long and really we should stop. But some days? Some days you just need to justify that last cookie.
So here I am. Saving you from yourself. You won't have to justify it now, because I have already done it for you. So now all you have to do is repeat one of the following statements. Congratulations.
1. I walked to the fridge today, and that's all the way across my (20x20 ft) apartment. That practically counts as exercise and so I need to eat this so I don't lose weight.
2. I was late to class and ran from my car to class. It took me a whole 4 minutes, which means that if I was an olympic runner that would've been a whole mile. That's a lot, and I was practically running that fast. I was wheezing. Soooo I'm gonna eat it.
3. I plan on working out within the next few hours... or days... either way: carb loading.
4. Today was hard. Treat yo' self.
5. If I don't eat this and I get hit by a bus and die, I am really going to regret leaving it behind. It'll be abandoned, because no one will eat a dead girl's food. That would be a waste.
6. I'm doing it for the starving children in Africa.
7. In a few weeks I'll be studying for finals and I'll forget to eat. It's like storing up for the winter.
8. My friend is on a diet. I'm eating it in her honor. Here's for all the cookies you aren't eating, {insert skinny friend's name here}. It's a sacrifice, really.
9. If my body is craving sugar, I probably need it. That's how it works.
10. Test coming up? Brain food.
11. Last time I checked, calories are merely a count of energy, which means that I'll have more energy to get my homework done and workout.
12. You miss 100% of the cookies you never eat.
13. Really, you just need to help the hostess clean up. Civil duty.
14. Eat it so the other girl eyeing it can't.
15. Your mom always told you to clean your plate. It would be disrespectful to disobey. Honor your mother.
If none of these excuses worked, then you obviously weren't trying hard enough to make them. You don't deserve that cookie. Put it down, back away, and call one of your wiser friends to come and "get rid of it" for you. They'll know what to do.
