Stage 1: Giving yourself the pre-gym pep talk from the car in the parking lot.
I got this. It's just weights, a treadmill. A few machines is really all. This place has nothing on me.
Stage 2: Walking inside, trying to feel like you got this.
I don't got this.
Stage 3: The cravings hit....for everything and anything edible.
Just thinking about exercise makes you want to stuff your face with a double cheeseburger. (But of course, they only have protein bars, mostly the kind that are $2 per piece and taste like bricks.)
Stage 4: Trying to figure out the gym machinery.
It's basically like trying to put together IKEA furniture without the instructions. You try your very hardest not to look stupid in front of the seasoned gym members.
Stage 5: Seeing a cute person lifting or on the treadmill and trying to play it cool...
Stage 6: A moment of refusal.
There's no way I can lift that without pulling a muscle or puking on the floor. No way. Not happening.
Stage 7: Eventually mustering up the courage to do the lifting and cardio....You turn on the machine and get to it.
The first few minutes, you're thinking, This isn't so bad. I can do this.
Stage 8: Pain.
Stage 9: The second (and third) sets.
Basically just no.
Stage 10: Sweating, dehydration, and ALL the water you can guzzle.
*gasps for air*
Stage 11: After finishing up and drinking some water, the endorphins start to hit...
I COULD RUN A MARATHON. LIFT A CAR WITH MY BARE HANDS.
Stage 12: ...And the cravings follow right after.
If it's salty, deep-fried, and fattening, I need it. I need it now.
Stage 13: The post-gym food guilt.
French fries are potatoes, which means they're a vegetable and are healthy, right?
Stage 14: Realizing you need to go back again tomorrow...and the day after that, and the day after that.
Ehhhhhhh....how bout no thanks?
