I have said it many times that I would not trade the years I spent with my mother for a lifetime with another mother. I only had twelve of them, eight of which were clouded by cancer treatments, remission, and relapses. Despite this, she managed to teach me more about how to treat others, how to approach life and how to be my own person more than any girl could hope. Perhaps it was because she knew her years with me needed to count more, that there would be far fewer of them than there would be for my significantly older siblings, but reflecting on that time with her never ceases to put me in awe of how much she was able to instill in me given how young I was when she died. Here are a few of those lessons — I hope that they might lead you to contemplate the lessons you have learned from your own mothers.

1. Education is invaluable: When I was in sixth grade, I came home with a C on a progress report in my world civilizations class. It did not matter to my mother that there was only one grade in the computer or that it was not my report card, and I was bent over my sick, frail mother's knee for the first time in my life. And despite the fact that it did not hurt when she spanked me, her point was well-made. Grades matter and college was a non-negotiable.
2. Sometimes you can communicate your thoughts and feelings better with silence and a glare than anything else: I am thankful every day that I inherited my mother's ability to convey my own feelings and to alter the feelings of those around me with my face. You know very well when I am upset with you, but when I smile it always touches my eyes.
3. Reading to children when they are young will make them readers later in life: I vaguely remember when I was first able to make out words and sentences from Harry Potter books over my mother's shoulder as she read aloud to me and became an avid reader myself at the age of 7 or 8. She read the first six books aloud to me despite my own ability to read, and I retold the ending to the final book in great detail to her days before her own passing.
4. Marry for love, not for money: My mother was engaged once before she married my father. My parents met in 6^th grade shortly after my father moved to Kentucky, and shared their first kiss that year (which has to seriously be the cutest thing ever). While my father was away, she almost married a soon-to-be cardiologist. I can thank my existence that she stuck it out and waited for her middle school sweetheart instead.
5. Husbands are completely capable of putting dinner on the table, cleaning, picking the kids up from school, and wiping butts: I like to tell people that my fiercely feminist attitudes are probably a direct result of the fact that I had no concept of socially constructed gender roles until middle school because my dad stayed at home for the first 11 years of my life making my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
6. Compassion and empathy are the most important virtues: Consider the struggles and feelings of others before making decisions that impact their lives. Accommodate them and relieve what ails them. You'll feel more deeply and you'll impact lives.
7. Lipstick is always appropriate: Even if you don't have on something especially nice, lipstick instantly makes you feel prettier. Trust me.
8. Life is too short to worry about keeping a perfectly clean home: A little clutter is good for the soul and there are better things to do with your time than dusting and vacuuming compulsively.
9. Treat everyone you meet like they are the most important person you have ever met: This is perhaps the most important lesson that my mother taught me. It doesn't matter if someone has less education or less money than you, treating him or her with respect and love makes people much more likely to respect and love you too.
10. Laugh lines are the most beautiful things that come with age: Be thankful for them, because that means that a) you have lived long enough to get wrinkles, and b) you have spent much of that time smiling.
11. No matter how busy you are, make time for the important things: Between chemo treatments, residual weakness, and work, my mother found time to go camping with my Girl Scout troop, to drive me to baton or piano lessons, and went to almost every swim meet, basketball game, soccer game, tennis match, or other event that my sisters and I had growing up. Make time for those things, because you'll remember far more of those days than the days you chose to stay at home.
12. Make certain before you start a family that should anything happen to your spouse that you could take care of your family alone: Women should value being independently successful. The only thing I was ever made to promise was to never have to depend on a man to support me financially or emotionally.
13. Half of any battle is your own resilience: Eight years. Three codes, each with an 85% chance of death. One stem cell transplant. One hell of a fight and a lot of grit. I constantly thank modern medicine for what it did for my mother, but I attribute at least 4 of those years to sheer will to live. Figure out who you love enough to live for and live in such a way that others will live for you.