My greatest support system is, by far, the women in my life. I have learned invaluable lessons from women who have forged the way for me. I implore you to take this month not only to honor the women who have fought for our rights to vote, to be paid equally, and to be heard. I implore you to take this month also to honor the women in your lives—mothers, sisters, cousins, and friends—who have fought for you to be the most successful person you can be.
1. True love is unconditional.
I’m not far past my teen years, and those years would have been much smoother if my mom and I had agreed on… well, anything. But to this day, we don’t agree on everything and she still loves me more than anyone else I know. It’s crazy how many arguments are in effort to force people to see things the way you do. But what my mom has taught me is that you don’t need to agree on everything or be exactly like someone to love them. In fact, if you really, truly love someone, major differences seem small. Despite my growing up in an entirely different time and country from my mom, she still sees where I’m coming from and I for her.
2. It pays to be nice.
I learned the value of putting myself out there and networking in college. But I don’t need a degree to learn to be genuinely nice–I just need my older sister. She has taught me a wealth of lessons, but as far as I can remember, she’s been genuinely nice to everyone she’s ever met. She has always given the benefit of the doubt. And from what I’ve seen, someone always returns her the favor–without her looking for it. When I was younger, I thought she was too nice for this world. But as I got older, I wished this world could be as good as the person as she is.
3. In life you don't get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate.
A coworker told me this once and it has since resonated with me. I used to think that I wouldn’t get what I wanted, that I would get what I deserved. But recently, I learned it wasn’t even about deserving anything. Because I might think I deserve one thing, but if I don’t prove it and push for it, no one else will believe me.
4. You have to have a life outside work to be great at work.
A close friend and partner taught me so much about putting my phone down, closing my computer, and clearing my thoughts of work. She has proven to me time and time again, that I am my best when I make time for my family, friends, self, and work–as opposed to work alone. Long gone are the days when I spend every waking (and sleeping) moment thinking of work, work, work, work, work, work. *Rihanna voice*
5. Only you know what’s right.
My aunt taught me that lots of people can give you lots of advice, but only you know what is right for you. Time and time again, I find myself asking my friends for advice about relationships, work, school, family, etc. But there is never a time where I am completely clueless. I often know what I want to do – I even go to them showing that I am leaning a certain way. So why ask for someone to confirm? I know what’s right for me, and I don’t need anyone to help me feel better about my decisions.
6. The best project to work on is you.
One of my closest and, hopefully forever, friends truly inspires everyone around her with her consistent accomplishments. I love surrounding myself with people who never ever stop, and she never does. Even when everyone feels she’s doing amazing things and she’s in a great place, she promises herself that she needs to do much more. I’ve learned from her that I can only influence my friends, my family, my coworkers, and everyone around me if I first fulfill my own goals. She has taught me to always be my best self.
7. You can't get a rainbow without some rain.
My older cousin, like a sister to me, has been through good and bad times, like us all. But when I don’t get what I want for dinner or I don’t get as high a grade as I expected or my train is delayed, I make much more of a fuss than I probably should. She’s taught me that there truly is beauty in the struggle. If you trust in your fate and the timing of your life, you will be rewarded endlessly, and in her case, with a beautiful family featuring the cutest niece and nephew in the entire universe (shameless plug).
8. Family is permanent.
My younger cousin has several Facebook statuses and Instagram posts that preach variations of “family over everything." It’s true–I’m stuck with them. And I love it. Few friends have seen me go through all stages of my life, ranging from Kimmy Gibbler to Kelly Kapowski, and still loved me. But every cousin, aunt, uncle, grandparent, mom, dad, and sister has. And vice versa, that same cousin once dressed like Hannah Montana…and I still love her.
9. Care for your loved ones…more than yourself.
My late grandmother has taught me many things, from my youth to beyond her passing. But something I’ve always admired in her is her selfless nature. My grandmother went through a lot physically and mentally towards the end of her life. But not once did she neglect to ask how I was doing. Not once did she make my common colds and fevers seem minor compared to her unbearable pain. Not once did she expect anyone to cater to her. We did that out of the goodness in our hearts. It’s amazing how one person could split her love in so many directions. But she did that.
