I have always been one of the palest people in the room. There's nothing that can help it. Maybe if a ghost was in the room with me, I would be more tan than it, but maybe not. It's kind of discouraging. I could get a sunburn from a lightbulb (OK that's an exaggeration, but still). But after I burn, I go back to being a porcelain child.

Here are some struggles my fellow pale people will understand:

1. The sun is not our friend

I try to avoid it at all costs.

2. My family likes to be near me because I make them look more tan.

I am not making this up. My mom likes to stand next to me in pictures and my aunts love to compare skin tones. Don't mind me, I'm just here to boost your "tan ego."

3. Maybe my freckles will blend together and I'll look tan

I always thought I was just one sunburn away from this happening.

4. Sunscreen doesn't even help

30 spf? doesn't work. 40? Nah. 50? Maybe, but you need to reapply three times. 100? Perfect.

5. The sunburn doesn't ever become a tan

It just goes back to a paper-white glow. There is no hope.

6. Foot Burn

This is a literal picture of my feet. Try not walking for a week.

7. Butt burn

Not being able to sit is maybe the worst thing in the world.

8. Always saying, "I've had worse."

It's not because I'm trying to deny my pain. I have literally had worse. A bad sunburn to you is normal for me.

9. The weird "tan" lines you get

This is not so great being in a sorority and having to wear white dresses, but you do what you gotta do.

10. Denial

No, no. I'm fine. It doesn't hurt that bad. It will go away soon.

11. Being unable to move

At some point you just lay down and don't get back up. Not because you don't want to, but because you can't.

12. Acceptance

I'm going to die here.

13. Peeling

You become a snake and shed your skin. This part is half gross and half enjoyable.