13 Hilarious Thoughts You'll Have During Hot Yoga

13 Hilarious Thoughts You'll Have During Hot Yoga

Hot? It's not that hot I've been to (insert generic hot place here) and I was fine.

Hot Yoga: it's a strange and kind of cruel sort of exercise we put ourselves through. Sure regular yoga is a wonderful exercise just by itself, where you can calm yourself down and just clear your mind, but for some reason people thought that it could be made even better by stuffing yourself in a 108 degree room with 20 other strangers. Now before I go on let me just say that I did try it a couple times and discovered it is not at all for me, if Hot Yoga is something you do everyday I gladly applaud you on your endurance because you are a tougher person then I will ever be, because I am just going to stick with regular yoga. For anyone who is thinking about checking Hot Yoga classes out, here are some things/thoughts that may happen during your first class:

1.Hot? It's not that hot I've been to (insert generic hot place here) and I was fine. (Enters room)

2.What kind of heat is this? Eck must not chug all of my water right now. Must tough it out!

3.Good there's a spot in the direct middle I'll just plop my mat down there. Oh God though why is everyone laying down did they already pass out from heat exhaustion?

4. Alright, you got this it's just like regular yoga right?

5. The middle was a terrible decision, now all the teacher is doing is picking on me because I sat right next to them. Don't tell me what to do, let me be terrible as a beginner, and did I mention it's 108 in here!

6. What's with the mirrors do we all really need to see how we look right now?

7. I'm so slippery that I can't even get a grip on my feet (the fish represents my feet)

8. Oh good a water break better hydrate.

9. That's a neat trick, putting water on your mat to make it cooler (falls on face as my feet slip trying to go into warrior pose) that was too much water I think?

10. Ok I need to step out, it is to hot in here (run's to bathroom and try's to cool down using the bathroom sink)

11. Welp better go back in there and melt some more

12. Hooray! It's Savasana time!

13. I did it! Now somebody get me ice cream while I hide in this freezer.

Cover Image Credit: Manga La Yoga Studios

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36 Thoughts I Had Prepping For A Bikini Competition

Many of these thoughts happened in one day... Multiple times a day.

I am competing in my first fitness competition soon, and let me tell you, it has not been easy. These athletes are no joke. From cutting down calories to controlling cravings to insane workout regimens, these past 8 weeks have not been easy. I am nowhere that I wanted to be at, figure wise, but, this just motivates me for the future. Enjoy some of my daily thoughts during this prep period.

1. I got this.

2. That suit costs how much?!

3. Wow, I really want a burger

4. I want chocolate.

5. I want a donut.

6. I NEED coffee!

7. I don't think I can eat healthy for 8 weeks

8. You're supposed to spray tan nude?

9. How many days out am I?

10. Do I have to do cardio today?

11. I need a nap.

12. How TF do I pose?

13. How is my body supposed to bend that way when I pose?

14. Wow, she has a really nice butt.

15. She's my competition?!

16. I can only have 1200 calories today, that means I have 200 left and it's... 2 p.m.

17. I'm going to be so cranky near the end of this.

18. How dark am I going to be when I get a spray tan?

19. Wow... that's dark.

20. I need to cut down on carbs.

21. Literally, everything I eat has carbs.

22. I love carbs.

23. I wonder what my boyfriend will think when I compete.

24. I wonder what my parents will think...

25. Am I crazy for doing this?

26. Don't answer that.

27. My butt is going to be exposed to so many people.

28. What is a macro?

29. Is there an app for tracking that?

30. Woah, there actually is.

31. Am I done with this yet?

32. I already know what I'm going to eat after the show.

33. Is it show day yet?

34. Can I eat yet?

35. I'm never doing this again.

36. I really want to do this again.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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You Should Be Sensitive To Your Need For Depth

How often do I give my lungs the air they’re fit to be filled with?

Shallow breaths.

The deeper I breathe, the more aware I become of the shallowness of my ordinary breath.

I am constantly running on too little oxygen. I have made myself into an anxiety-ridden machine, always shuffling from thing to thing, always moving from thought to thought, worry to worry, meal to meal, assignment to assignment. My cells tremble with the need for a profound inhale.

The deeper I breathe, the more aware I become of my need for the depths.

How often do I give my lungs the air they’re fit to be filled with?

It takes the deep ones, the eight-second inhales, to break apart the knot in your chest. It takes a longer moment to slog through the mess of what’s inside. It takes a step into vulnerability to stop the dehumanizing the world would like to do of you.

I am convicted of a great brokenness that the whole of humanity feels somewhere deep inside of themselves. Being alive is terrifying. There is so much we don’t understand. The confusion and fear crawls out with fangs, in the dead of night, in the chaos we’re caught in during the hectic moments— the times where existence doesn’t make any sense and why are we here and why am I doing this?

I think we have to be honest with ourselves that all of us get scared of being alive sometimes. Existence is scary. There’s so much we don’t know. I love Christ deeply, but I hope people know that even with the hope and assurance I have in faith, I get scared too. Life is not a thing to be made sense of, even with what we do know.

In these moments I pray, I breathe. Breath is such a beautiful thing. How miraculous is it that your lungs were made in a way that can calm your entire being in seconds, flat? How miraculous is it that every time you are steeping in your fear and failure, you get out eventually?

You’re here.

You are resilient. You can breathe. You can take breaths that sustain and regenerate you.

It is about going beneath the surface-level of yourself. It is truly a disservice to yourself to skate upon the periphery of who you are and what you’re going through.

Take a deeper breath today. Fall deep into your humanity today. Acknowledge that existence is scary, and let that fear and confusion take you to a place of deeper questioning and emotion and spirituality.

We, as part of creation, come from the deep. In Hebrew, from Genesis, that’s tĕhowm, the deep, the abyss, the waters. Returning to the deep, to the depths of who you are as a human, requires knowing who you are and where you come from. That seems daunting.

I take a deep breath and breathe in the knowledge that existence is far more than the eye can see.

And then I go in pursuit of answers, knowing full well they will never be completely answered in this lifetime.

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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