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Relationships

The 13 Guys You Meet On Tinder

These are actual lines from actual guys.

Caitlin Carlson

Jan 16, 2017

James Madison

343

heartyhosting.com

Tinder has changed the game of online dating. It's a way for millennials and anyone older to judge a potential partner by just a few pictures and a swipe of the finger. If two people both "like" each other, they can then begin messaging. Although some love stories will begin "Once upon a time, Timmy swiped right on my selfie..." the majority of people find very little luck on this app. On college campuses across the country people either use it as a way to look for a quick hookup or simply as a form of harmless entertainment. I personally have never used the app, but my best friend has and oh boy, has she had some winners. Based on her experience, here are the thirteen types of guys you meet on Tinder:

1. The Family Man

"If I had four quarters to give to the prettiest girls, I’d give three to you…the fourth would be for our daughter.” Mike Jan 5, 2017

2. The Firefighter

“Stop, drop and roll baby, you’re on fire.” Jack Dec 13, 2016

3. The Philosopher

“What language did Helen Keller think in?” Jacob Jan 9, 2017

4. The Friend You Jokingly Matched With

“Ew.” Aidan Nov 15, 2016

5. The Mathematician

“On a scale from 1-10 you’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you need.” Terry Jan 6, 2017

6. Mr. Unenthusiastic

“Hey” Brandon,

Matthew, Brian, Kyle, Andrew, Ted, Ryan, Cameron, Jimmy, Levi, Martin, Ian,

Michael, Patrick, Richard, Dan, Jacob, Phil, Ryan, Scott

7. The Pre-Med Student

“Are you my appendix? Because I don’t really understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.” Michael Dec 11, 2016

8. The Thug

“Ayo b!*@# you look like garbage, lemmi take you out.” Sam Dec 8, 2016

9. The Realist

“You’re really average looking and I’m really average looking.” Tim Nov 30, 2016

10. FBI's Most Wanted

“Can you help me hide a body (urgent)?” Quinn Dec 15, 2016

11. The One Who Gets to the Point

“9/10 would smash and make breakfast in the morning.” Danny Dec 19, 2016

12. The King of Corny

“I just showed your picture to my roommates and now we all agree that angels do exist.” Michael Nov 27, 2016

13. The One Who Won't Stop at Anything

“I would battle a pack of mountain lions inside of a handicapped stall at a local McDonalds with my hands zip tied behind my back and a shake weight super glued to my forehead as my only weapon just to get your SnapChat.” Robbie Dec 15, 2016

Shockingly, none of these lines have won the heart of my best friend - so if anyone's interested, you're invited to be the fourteenth guy. Other than that, Happy Tinder-ing to all.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

The 13 Guys You Meet On Tinder

These are actual lines from actual guys.

1. The Family Man

2. The Firefighter

3. The Philosopher

4. The Friend You Jokingly Matched With

5. The Mathematician

6. Mr. Unenthusiastic

7. The Pre-Med Student

8. The Thug

9. The Realist

10. FBI's Most Wanted

11. The One Who Gets to the Point

12. The King of Corny

13. The One Who Won't Stop at Anything

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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