Up until a few months ago I hated myself. I honestly don't even think hate even fully describes how i felt about myself. I detested myself. I was disgusted by myself. Writing how I felt about myself almost makes me ashamed, but then I remember what I learned from all those years, and I realize I have no reason to be.
1. Trying to hide doesn't work.
Sure, wearing those baggy clothes in 6th grade to try to hide made you feel "better" at the time, but then someone told you that you were ugly. Hiding in oversized clothes wasn't going to do the trick anymore. Hiding behind your hair wasn't going to work anymore either, it was time to find a new strategy(that ultimately won't work).
2. Everyone has their "ugly awkward stage", and you'll grow out of it.
Yes, every single person has had a time in their life, or will have a time in their life that they are "ugly" or "awkward" some people just take longer to grow out of it. Just because you're in that stage now does not mean you will be forever and you will not always feel this way, just keep your head held high it will get better.
3. You see yourself SO much worse than everyone else.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, you see your flaws, your imperfections, that freckle that's in that awkward spot. You see the way your stomach folds when you bend over. You see the worst parts of you that no one else gets to see. Next time you're feeling hard on yourself, just remember that you're the only one who feels that way.
4. Doing a complete 180 isn't the answer either.
Going from baggy clothes to jeans and fitted tops that you are not comfortable in will not help the way you feel about yourself. You have to feel comfortable with what you're wearing. Do not just put on what someone else tells you to. If you're not comfortable it will show and that completely defeats the purpose of trying to find a new look.
5. People will always hate on you and judge you.
The second you start doing well for yourself someone will always be there to put you down. Be it a peer at school, a boss, a "friend", that one cousin three times removed. It doesn't matter who they are, someone will always have something negative to say. Take it in stride, they're probably jealous.
6. Just because you don't love the way you look, doesn't mean you're fat.
For awhile I thought I was the hottest thing around before I started paying attention to society that is. Before it was shoved in my face that I was supposed to look a certain way. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. I wish I was as "fat" now as I thought I was then. But I know now, I don't have to look like a photoshopped model to be pretty. I also know that being skinny and being healthy can be two completely different things and I'd rather be healthy.
7. Those models you want to be like aren't "real".
Sure, the people are real. The face is real, but how much money do you want to put on those models looking like that in real life? And for the models that do really look like that, how unhealthy are they? I don't want to torture myself for unattainable beauty. Even though I was told "pain is beauty", I'm pretty sure there are limits to that statement.
8. Starving yourself if NOT the answer.
There, I said it. No, you do not need to starve yourself to be pretty or thin. Or even purge what you eat for that matter. It's not the answer, and it can be deadly( so please, if you or someone you know does, seek help before it's too late). Plus when you do recover from starving yourself, you will have ruined your metabolism. Your body will be used to being in starvation mode and you'll hate yourself even more. Trust me, don't do it.
9. Mental disorders/illnesses do not go away overnight, or ever really.
If you suffer from depression and/or anxiety like I and many others do, you have to know and accept that it will not always be gone overnight and it may get worse before it gets better. Find that one person(or a few people) that you can talk to no matter the time or circumstance, they will pull you through. Or if you're like me, find a band or song that will keep your head just above the water - they can and will save your life. Please do not choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
10. People can love you even when you don't love yourself.
I know you've heard the saying: "How can you expect someone to love you if you don't even love yourself?" Well, I'll tell you. That person does not see you the way you see you. They can see the way you're eyes light up when you talk about what you love, they can hear the passion in your voice, and the spark in your personality - you can't. They don't see your flaws as imperfections. They see you as this amazing being who is blind to their own worth.
11. You are worth so much more than you think.
You are worth more than a paycheck. More than a pile of skin and bones. You are worthy of love and friendship. You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy. You are perfect in your own way. You are worthy of kind words and encouragement. Keep your head high.
12. You will get to where you want to be.
Dream big. Envision a future for yourself. Have big dreams and set small goals to get you there. Believe in yourself. You can do anything you set your mind to. I am living proof. A year ago had you told me, I'd love my body and myself, have a job in a restaurant, own my own business and be a writer for Odyssey, I would have said you're crazy, but here I am and look at how much I've learned.
