With heartbreak, loss of loved ones, leaving behind everything I knew to move to a new city, transfer to a university and make all new friends, this past year has been a ride to say the least. It's been filled with love and loss, trial and error, confusion, happiness and stress, but above all, my peak in growth as a person. I think this past year has given me lessons that have strengthened my heart and made me a better person. My only hope is to carry with me what I've learned, and to use it to better understand and accept future situations, and try to help others do the same.
1. Unconditional love doesn't mean you have to unconditionally accept bad behavior.
Loving someone isn't enough to validate the way they treat you or the way they act. You can't justify actions or poor treatment because you love them. Furthermore, understanding and believing that this is enough of a reason to not continue allowing it.
2. Time doesn't heal as well as your loved ones do.
I was told more than once that time heals, but I firmly believe it's people who do the most healing. The right people and moments can make all the difference in your life. Kindness and compassion has a way of filling in the little spaces that need fixing.
3. My appreciation for my parents has grown since I moved out.
Everyday, I realize more and more how incredibly blessed I am. A big part of that comes from my parents. I would be nowhere without their unconditional love, support and guidance. It may have taken me 20 years and moving away a few hundred miles away to acknowledge they are the two people who have, and will always, be there for me through anything and everything. They are my built-in best friends. Now, I understand how tough love is the reason I am so independent, driven and capable of being on my own today
4. Family is everything.
Along with appreciation for my parents, my appreciation for family has grown as well. I always look forward to visiting home and having the love and affection I now see can't be compensated anywhere else.
5. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
You never know the power of a hug until you, yourself, need one. I think it is important to give someone the opportunity to feel your love as long as they need it. Always hug with two arms, let them know they can lean on you.
6. Forgiveness is the final form of love.
When you are able to forgive one for their faults and see past their imperfections, then you have achieved true love.
7. Remember what people did right for you.
I hold this one very close to me. I think it is important to always remember the good people have brought to your life, especially when they have done wrong. The best way to avoid anger and resentment is remembering that same person was capable of bringing you happiness and good moments at one point in time. If you allow it, the good will ALWAYS outweigh the bad.
8. Sometimes good people do bad things.
It is impossible to go through life without hurting someone, but that doesn't make anyone any less of a person. We've all done things we aren't proud of and it is important to recognize the mistakes and make amends.
9. Some things are better left unresolved and unsaid.
We all deserve explanations and we all deserve clarity, but sometimes it's best to leave a situation as it is. People leave, we lose something, life gives, life takes. I think the only sure part of it all is that everything happens exactly as it should and sometimes, that has to be enough of an explanation.
10. Recognize when it's time to let go.
Seriously. Be strong and let go of anything and anyone that takes away from your happiness. Let go of anything and anyone who brings you doubt, let go of anyone who has to apologize for the same mistake more than once, let go of toxic friendships and relationships. Don't be a prisoner to things you can't change.
11. Sometimes love isn't enough and that's okay.
The hardest of lessons. You can love the hell out of someone, support them, encourage them, give all your loyalty, respect, trust, effort and just do everything in your power to make it known that you care, appreciate and love them, but it isn't always enough. Love can be a very shaky foundation to rely on. I made the choice to love someone and he made the choice to walk away. In our case, my love wasn't enough. What I finally realize after a year is that, just because it wasn't enough doesn't mean I wasn't. I always was and I will be for any person who deserves that much from me. What's important is to recognize how much you were able to love the wrong person and use that as your fuel to love even better next time. It helps.
12. My dog changed my life.
No joke, I just about tear up every time I talk about my pooch because he brings me THAT much happiness. He was rescued, but sometimes I look over at him and I can't help but wonder who saved who. I'm grateful millions of times a day to have such a goofy, loaf of bread looking, bundle of love. He changed my life forever.
