Although chronic anxiety usually stays with you your whole life, you can gain control over it by putting yourself before others. A big part of my anxiety comes from a lack of control in new situations, especially when in large crowds. The best way I found to handle it all is by putting myself first in these self-loving ways:
1. If you start to feel you are losing control of a situation, tell the people around you
It is hard to be open about things like anxiety and depression, but you cannot receive help if those around you are clueless to what you are feeling. Whenever I am in a new situation and start to get that "oh s***" feeling I have found it best to simply let the person I am with know what is going on by saying something like, "Hey, just to let you know I might start acting a little agitated because I'm having some anxiety right now." Before I started being open about my anxiety, the people around me just thought I was acting rude or grumpy, but now I can let them know what I am working through in my head.
2. Make your comfort the number one priority
Everyone has their own little tricks to calm and comfort themselves. Even if your tricks seem odd to others, continue to utilize them until you are comfortable. My personal favorite is the "hide in the bathroom for five minutes until you don't feel like screaming."
3. Don't downplay your emotions
A lot of the time people who don't have anxiety think that it is just the typical stress that everyone gets and tend to downplay the toll it takes on you. Take the time to explain your anxiety to those who love you. They will understand what you are feeling is serious and needs attention at times.
4. Take notes on what triggers your anxiety
Having anxiety is kind of like having a food allergy; you should take notes on what makes you feel sick to find the source of the illness. If you were lactose-intolerant would you eat a bunch of ice cream, throw up and then do it again? No! You need to take care of yourself. Try to avoid situations that trigger you as much as possible.
5. Allow yourself extra time
Most of the time my anxiety is triggered when I am on a strict time crunch. Therefore, I have found it best to leave myself extra time whether it be before school, work or even running errands. This way you don't have to deal with the constant worry of being late.
6. Treat yo 'self
"Treat yo 'self" days are necessary for all humans, but they are essential if you are under constant stress. This can be taking the time to read before bed, going on a walk or getting a massage. Whatever it may be, cherish it. You deserve it.
7. Eat healthy
Foods and drinks that are high in sugar, caffeine or alcohol can all cause your anxiety to worsen. I know, I know. "What will we do without our daily coffee and vodka??" But trust me you will feel better in the long run.
8. Try yoga, meditation or prayer
No matter what your religion or beliefs may be, calming your mind will improve your mental health and help reduce stress. Your mind is just as important as your body. Treat it as such.
9. Hang out with some furry friends
Animals are awesome because they are like humans except they can't tell you to stop hugging them! For some reason, snuggling small animals has always made me happier and reduced my stress.
10. Talk to other people who know what you are going though
Believe it or not there are other people out there like you who want to help. Sometimes just being around people who know what you are feeling can help you feel included and loved. Or in my case find someone to hide in the bathroom with you.
11. Know that anxiety is not your identity
Always remember that you are so much more than a diagnosis. Your anxiety is only a small piece of what makes you you. Please be kind to yourself and know what you need to be happy.
It's hard to take control when you feel that you have none, but the best way to do this is by putting your needs first. Make sure you are comfortable before you start worrying about what other people need. If you try to downplay what you need, things will only get worse. You are worth it.
