Memorial Day weekend is a time that many look forward to. School's almost out, the weather's getting warmer and everyone's getting ready for summer vacation. South Jersey is a great place to be in the summer with Avalon, Sea Isle City, Atlantic City and my personal favorite and hometown, Ocean City. All of these places are prime summer vacay spots for everyone except the locals. Growing up in a beach town, I've encountered all walks of life. You only have to spend one night on the boardwalk and you'll come in contact with everything from herds of foreigners screaming in different languages to blacked-out teenagers getting detained by the boardwalk rent-a-cops. Locals dread the months between Memorial Day and Labor Day because of these 11 types of people:
1. The Senior-Weekers
Just when you think you're going to get a few more quiet weeks in after MDW, these terrors begin to flood the islands. They like to say they "roll in squad deep" and they destroy everything they touch with their screen printed shirts and their shutter shades on.
2. The Foreigners
Hairy and scarcely clad, these people also come in herds but they're also loud, rude, and horrible tippers. If you work in the food industry, these are your worst nightmare.
3. The Family Vacationers
Constantly complaining and asking to see your managers, these family vacationers only come through every few years. Be careful not to trip on their children's leashes when strolling down the boardwalk.
4. The Regulars (Not to be confused with Shlocals)
Regulars are the best kind of tourists. They rent for a week or two once a year and they mind their own business. They know the unspoken rules and etiquette of the island and they respect the locals.
5. The Shlocals
There are shoobies, there are locals, and there are shlocals. Shlocals have the potential to be as respected as regulars, but a lot of them throw that away by posing as locals. Shlocals merely own summer homes, but strut around like they own the island. It's because of this entitled bunch that shlocals are looked down upon.
6. The People Who Don't Even Lift
7. The Weekenders
After a busy week at work, the weekenders just want to come to the beach to unwind. They, too, don't bother us locals. This is probably because they're really only here for the beaches and the bars.
8. The Thirst Squad
These prepubescent delinquents spend their nights posted up on the boardwalk railings harassing any girl that comes within a mile radius. They're obscene and ignorant and they'll stop at nothing to get a phone number.
9. The Blackout Bunch
The name pretty much explains them, but the age group of this bunch varies by town. Atlantic City is full of drunken adults gambling away their paychecks, while in Ocean City, you'll find groups of belligerent teenagers getting harassed by the rent-a-cops for their friend who threw up off the side of the boardwalk.
10. The Slobs
There's nothing worse than a family or group of people heading home from a long day at the beach without their trash. People, if you're going to use my beautiful beaches, you're going to have to do your part keep them beautiful. End of story.
11. The Angry Locals
Not all locals are angry, but you definitely don't want to upset this crowd. They're usually older and they've lived there their entire life. You're invading their home so as long as you respect it, they'll respect you.
