1. There Is Nothing Appealing About Mass Layering: Why would anyone want to
use up half their wardrobe just to keep warm? You know what you need to
keep warm in the summer? One. Single. Shirt.
2. Snow = The Enemy: Sure, the flakes look all pretty when they're gently blanketed on the ground... for the first five minutes after falling. Then people trample them. Then it gets in your shoes and all over your clothing, and then it melts, so pretty soon you're both cold and sopping wet. Ew.
3. Winter Drinks Can't Compare: The moment Starbucks starts shoving those hot peppermint-mocha monstrosities in our faces, we're outta there. For whatever reason, it's "unacceptable" to enjoy a nice iced coffee in -5°F.
4. Dating Is So Much Harder Now: Summer screams romance. Cute beach dates, holding hands on the boardwalk, etc. Whereas, in the winter, it's all about hibernation, storing food, and trying not to freeze half to death. You can't look cute when you're buried under mountains of fleece blankets. You just can't.
5. There...Is... Nothing... To... Do...: OK, sure, there's something to do. Something like ice-skating or making snowmen or some other gross, cold activity. Basically, there's nothing we want to do.
6. Seasonal Depression, That's a Thing: Seriously, there are people--like us--who genuinely experience some form of depression when the leaves die and the world gets cold and dark and... this isn't really a surprise, is it?
7. Not Being Religious in the Winter... Near Impossible: There's no pressure to celebrate any religion-based holiday in the summer! But if you're not Christian or Jewish around the wintertime, you often feel like you're missing out on something. The holiday season has become all about gift giving and Hallmark cards. Not participating in those activities just makes you feel... kinda lonely.
8. The Outdoors Become a Hellscape: Oh, you wanna take a nice stroll around the block? Sure, let's just endure the demon-winds and freezing temperatures. At least in the summer you can grab a water bottle and some sunscreen, and you'll be good to go. Whereas in the winter, you risk losing a finger or two to Mother Nature every time you step outside.
9. Group Outings Are Miserable: No one wants to be the designated driver in the summer, obviously. But having to do it in the winter is way worse. Getting together and figuring out a plan gets messy when dealing with who can drive in the snow, what's going to be open, etc. And don't even try to get us summer people to agree to club hopping. You want me to wear a tiny black dress in this weather? Sorry. Not happening. Which brings us to...
10. We Don't Look Cute in this Weather: We know how to rock shorts and fashionable, open-toed options. But we can't make these things work in the bitter cold. Frumpy sweaters don't fit us right, and we're dying to get out of fuzzy leggings and tight jeans. And if we try to leave the overwhelmingly heavy clothing behind in favor of light options, we risk looking completely out of place, and begging everyone to lend us their scarves.
And lastly...
11. We Don't Buy Your Winter Wonderland Bull: The snow isn't some kind of miracle dust. Your brightly colored lights look tacky. And no, we don't want to come outside and build an igloo with you. We want to be basking in the sun on a sandy beach. As far as we're concerned, winter's never going to be able to compete with the kind of season where the sun is always shining, and the only cold you have to fear is the ocean as you go deeper.
