11 Things I Don't Say Enough

11 Things I Don't Say Enough

But I know that I should.

I don't have a pride issue, I have an issue with saying my words. I leave a lot of things unsaid, because I grew up believing that it was better to remain silent than start a fight. This philosophy has saved some relationships, but damaged others. I've compiled a list of words, some that seem to be nonexistent, some that aren't used enough, others that I know I should use more often but won't anyway. No, this isn't a pride issue, this is a stubborn issue. The first step to fixing a problem is understanding the things that need to be changed, deleted, or added to your vocabulary.

1. "I love you"

Even though this isn't a sentence that I use after every phone call, every night, or before every goodbye, it doesn't mean that I don't feel it. I leave this sentence left unsaid so much because I think that it should just be known. I take this for granted.

2. "I'm sorry"

Often times I don't understand why I should be sorry for somethings that I do say. Somethings are legitimate feelings and they were never meant to hurt someone in the first place. I need to learn that even the feelings I can't understand are still legitimate and it is still possible to hurt them without being aware that I'm doing so.

3. "No"

I became the walking doormat of the group. I never meant for this to happen, but most who can't use this word never mean for it to happen to them either. Opportunities are everywhere, but my mind is set on "this is my only chance". So, I always say "yes".

4. "I didn't mean that"

Fiery words leave everyone's mouths in the heat of the moment, and I'm no different.

5. "Thank you"

There is a long list of people in my life who I am thankful for. There is an even longer list of people who haven't gotten nearly the amount of thanks they deserve for making me into the person I am.

6. "I need you"

Being emotionally alone is a lot different than being physically alone. I was never the person to let someone know that they were a big part of my life. I've always had this wall of defense around me just to make sure that no one could come in, get close, and bring me down.

7. "Help me"

I try to do everything on my own. I also take on so many things that one person should not be able to do all of them.

8. "I miss you"

When someone leaves my life, I tell myself they are gone forever so that I never have to use this sentence.

9. "I'm not OK"

Sometimes, I really am not and it would help the people around me understand a little more about me if I would admit this more.

10. "Will you please..."

I feel guilty when this is the beginning of a sentence. My mind is trained that I could never ask someone for something that I can get myself. This goes along with help, but it's different in the way that I can't even ask someone to come to the grocery store with me.

11. "This is too much"

I don't know my limits, or I tell myself that I don't have limits and I end up toppling over myself.

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

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Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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How To Avoid Getting Sick Your  Freshman Year

It's going to take a little more than an apple a day.


College is the prime time and place to catch a cold... or worse. Although, somehow I managed to crack the code to health and not get sick my whole first year of college. This is surprising considering I was living in the close (and very unsanitary) quarters of a dorm room.

1. Keep your diet somewhat healthy


I know how hard it is to eat healthy in college, especially on a low budget. But with the dining hall foods, you can at least include some vegetables and fruits into your everyday consumption. The vitamins in these foods will help keep your immune system up and it will be worth the effort.

2. Try to exercise a few times per week


Even if you're just getting out of the dorm for a thirty minute walk, it will benefit your body. If you decide to up your routine from that, even better! The more endorphins, the more you will feel better inside and out.

3. Cut back on the drinking if you feel a cold coming on


Surprisingly, many college students don't seem to know that alcohol lowers your immune system. Of course, for some people theres no way of avoiding drinking. But if you can at least give your body rest days, it will be extremely beneficial.

4. Invest in a dehumidifier for your dorm room


I believe this was a very big player in helping me not get sick. The dehumidifier helps reduce dust and other particles in the air. This will help not agitate your allergies and you will feel more clear headed.

5. Try not to share personal products


Sharing things like towels, makeup, unwashed cups, etc. can all be causes of a sickness being passed around you and your friends. Of course sharing is caring, just make sure it's sanitary.

6. Be conscientious of who you kiss!


Make sure that your girlfriend, boyfriend, or "its complicated" person is not sick before you're getting cozy with them.

7. Drink lots of green tea!


Personally, I credit green tea and its anti-oxidants for keeping the flu away and even getting rid of bugs that might be forming in your system. So if you feel like you might be developing a cold, chug that tea!

I know how annoying these tips may be. But I promise, if you implement at least a few it could reduce your chances of feeling horrible during midterms in the winter, and sneezing all over your finals in the fall.

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