I don't have a pride issue, I have an issue with saying my words. I leave a lot of things unsaid, because I grew up believing that it was better to remain silent than start a fight. This philosophy has saved some relationships, but damaged others. I've compiled a list of words, some that seem to be nonexistent, some that aren't used enough, others that I know I should use more often but won't anyway. No, this isn't a pride issue, this is a stubborn issue. The first step to fixing a problem is understanding the things that need to be changed, deleted, or added to your vocabulary.
1. "I love you"
Even though this isn't a sentence that I use after every phone call, every night, or before every goodbye, it doesn't mean that I don't feel it. I leave this sentence left unsaid so much because I think that it should just be known. I take this for granted.
2. "I'm sorry"
Often times I don't understand why I should be sorry for somethings that I do say. Somethings are legitimate feelings and they were never meant to hurt someone in the first place. I need to learn that even the feelings I can't understand are still legitimate and it is still possible to hurt them without being aware that I'm doing so.
I became the walking doormat of the group. I never meant for this to happen, but most who can't use this word never mean for it to happen to them either. Opportunities are everywhere, but my mind is set on "this is my only chance". So, I always say "yes".
4. "I didn't mean that"
Fiery words leave everyone's mouths in the heat of the moment, and I'm no different.
5. "Thank you"
There is a long list of people in my life who I am thankful for. There is an even longer list of people who haven't gotten nearly the amount of thanks they deserve for making me into the person I am.
6. "I need you"
Being emotionally alone is a lot different than being physically alone. I was never the person to let someone know that they were a big part of my life. I've always had this wall of defense around me just to make sure that no one could come in, get close, and bring me down.
7. "Help me"
I try to do everything on my own. I also take on so many things that one person should not be able to do all of them.
8. "I miss you"
When someone leaves my life, I tell myself they are gone forever so that I never have to use this sentence.
9. "I'm not OK"
Sometimes, I really am not and it would help the people around me understand a little more about me if I would admit this more.
10. "Will you please..."
I feel guilty when this is the beginning of a sentence. My mind is trained that I could never ask someone for something that I can get myself. This goes along with help, but it's different in the way that I can't even ask someone to come to the grocery store with me.
11. "This is too much"
I don't know my limits, or I tell myself that I don't have limits and I end up toppling over myself.