The sun is shining, the thermometer reads a hot and humid 82 degrees, and you haven't heard the words "class", "test" or "check ANGEL" in weeks. And yet, the goings-on of one early morning in June has you out of bed and ready for the world before 7 a.m. What could that event be?
It is, of course, your assigned day to purchase season student tickets for PSU Football: your sign from the gods that this boring summer will end and you will once again be reunited with friends and your preferred sleep schedule (read: no sleep) soon enough. That's right folks: fall in the Happy Valley is near. And here are the 11 stages of buying PSU Student Football Tickets to prove it:
1. Receiving the email from PSU Sports with your purchase date.
Obviously you'll get tickets. You are the backbone of this university and everything it stands for. You deserve this. Those other 45,000 students will just have to wait.
2. Waking up at an ungodly hour because even your internal clock knows this is a big day.
Probably the first time you've been conscious for this time of day since the end of spring semester, but hey.
3. Realizing other people will do the same thing. And your laptop is downstairs.
Damn it. Gotta be first.
4. Doubt and fear of the worst.
Does seniority mean nothing to anyone anymore? Is nothing sacred?
5. This whole process would be much easier if...
Gotta agree with Dwight on this one. But seriously, too much work to plan a new plague at 7 a.m. Let's shoot for getting tickets and cross that bridge if we come to it.
6. The overwhelming stress of a frozen computer screen.
Because has Penn State ever launched anything in the history of the world where this didn't happen? Even through a third party site, Nittany Lion pride has broken the internet more times than Kim Kardashian. I'm looking at you, LionPath.
7. Your mom/cat/boss walks in demanding attention.
"Not now, Sharon." You've got more important business to attend to.
8. Some upperclassman posts to Facebook saying they got their tickets and you're still waiting.
You'd unfriend them if you didn't crave their approval and party invites so badly.
9. (Option 1): disappointment.
What do you mean all of the tickets reserved for my class were sold within 10 minutes? I literally blinked.
9. (Option 2): Disillusionment
Fun ain't free.
10. Proving your dedication to PSU football like:
"I love you $218 worth, <insert name of rising star here>. Appreciate me."
11. Post-season.
Because no matter how many extra shifts you picked up to cover the cost, how many blocks you walked to avoid game-day traffic, and how many homework deadlines you missed for a good tailgate or final touchdown, you've never felt more connected to a simple saying: WE ARE!
Now, go get 'em Penn State. You've got memories to make.
