I’m writing this the weekend before Valentine’s Day, but depending on when you read this, Valentine’s Day is either fast approaching or has already passed. Maybe you planned some extravagant affair. Maybe you wanted to stay in and just spend time together. I’m not going to judge your plans. As long as you and your significant other were happy with what happened, it’s good.
But hey. I’m not here to talk about Valentine’s Day. I’m here to talk about the other 364 (or 365, on leap years) days that you haven’t vowed to show people you love them. Loving someone isn’t a one-day-a-year thing. It’s something to do, to choose every single day. I’m not promoting you lavish the people you love with presents every day because let’s be honest: excessive gifts would grow old really fast. Still, there are little ways you can show your love for someone without having to make dinner reservations at an expensive restaurant or splurging on that ____ they’ve been eyeing for ages.
One note: The love languages quiz is a little antiquated and I’m not promoting it as a foolproof way to make your relationships work. There are some problems with it. I’m really only mentioning it because some of the following are suggested might mean more if they have that specific love language. But come on, even if someone’s language isn’t “Acts of Service”, it doesn’t mean they won’t appreciate you helping them with chores.
1. Listen to them
Like, actually listen to them. Don't just nod your head and say, "Yes, dear," or "Mmhm," at every pause.
2. Surprise gifts
I know I said you didn’t have to shower them with gifts and I still stand by that. However, you can spontaneously get them their favorite candy or something. Or something else they like. I don’t know your loved ones. Maybe they collect ceramic animals. Maybe they need new drawing pencils. I’m going to assume you know better than I do.
3. Help them
Don’t do this if they’re the type of people who view other people trying to help as nuisances or if it’s like, a super specialized task. Doing chores around the house, though, is perfectly acceptable. Wash and put away those dishes. And if you do the laundry, be very careful when reading the washing/drying instructions.
4. Let them pick the movie
Or TV show. Or music. Or whatever it is you do together. Maybe you watch YouTube videos together. Whatever. No judgment. Just let them pick this time.
5. Write them a letter
It doesn’t even matter if you’re long distance or you live together. Letters are always nice, even if they’re short and sweet.
6. Confide in them
Unless I’m in a bad mood and someone’s complaining about something I deem as dumb, I generally appreciate people who trust me enough to share their lives with me.
7. Go with them on an errand
Time together is always nice and it makes something boring and annoying like grocery shopping into a mini-outing.
8. Offer them a sincere compliment
Don’t act like someone’s holding you at gunpoint and telling you to think of something to compliment the person on. Don’t force the compliment. People can smell a forced compliment a mile away and believe me, it does not in any way, shape, or form convey love.
9. Give them food
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and I heartily disagree because honestly, the way to anyone's heart is through their stomach. We all like food. Your gender doesn’t change that. Make their favorite snack or meal. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. You could even go out and buy their comfort food. Whatever works.
10. Give them a hug
Or a kiss. Whatever floats their boat, UNLESS THEY HATE PHYSICAL AFFECTION. Just remember you're offering them physical affection without expecting anything in return.
11. Tell them, "I love you!"
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Now go forth and love the people in your life.
