When people ask where I am from, I have two reactions. I either joke that they've never heard of it, or name the next closest thing to it. The truth is, I am from a little town called Garrettsville, located on the Eastern side of Ohio in Portage County. You've either heard of it, or you haven't. Like most small towns, it boasts its unique history and those stories everyone always tells, because not a lot happens.
Now, I am only one of the generations that grew up in good old Gville, and I am sure many people can account different points that they hear a lot- but here are some of my favorites:
1. You have had to explain the mascot.
The timeless JAG mascot is Inspector G, because our team is the Garfield G-men. Even though I've moved away from our town, I still have my fair share of high school shirts and even a duffel bag that proudly boasts our team, and I cannot tell you how often I have had to explain what a G-man is. Doesn't anyone know history? (For the record, it's Government Men) I have also had countless people see James A. Garfield abbreviated as JAG and ask if we are the Jaguars. We aren't, I promise.
2. You know where they got the G-men.
Way back in 1935, the Garrettsville Train Depot stood along what is now the trail, and Alvin "Creepy" Karpis made off with $46,000 from one of the trains in what is known as Americas last great train heist and led to the great J. Edgar Hoovers first big arrest in May of 1936. I heard somewhere that there was actually another great train heist, but we refuse to accept that. We even have a historic marker!
3. You know where the Lifesaver Candy was invented!
If you walk on the boardwalk behind town, there's a wooden building that resembles any other. (Actually, I took senior pictures against it.) It isn't a landmark, it isn't anything special. The only reason you may know what it is is a white sign on the door declaring it "The Lifesaver Building". This was home to the shop where Clarence Crane invented the original Lifesaver Candies.
4. Summerfest is the event of the year.
Summerfest and Chicken Dinner weekend is about the most memorable thing in our tiny town- for one weekend in late June, everything is suddenly busy in town as three stages come to life with live entertainment, carnival rides move in, and the smell of St. Ambrose Chicken mixes with that of carnival food.
5. You knew everyone in your graduating class.
And how they were related to or connected to every other member of your class. It felt like everyone was either cousins, second cousins, related by marriage, dated, or was so-and-so's Uncles Brother in Law kid.
6. The fire was the biggest event in years.
In March of 2014, a fire destroyed the Buckeye block on Main Street- effectively taking out half the businesses in town, including the Food Cupboard, and a lot of town history.
7. You know the mayor personally.
For that matter, you also probably know most of the council personally.
8. Iva Walker.
Everyone knows Iva. Her name is above the auditorium, for goodness sake. She does Quizbowl, announces for the band, and used to teach and do theater, and is a local celebrity who everyone knows.
9. We have a real life celebrity!
Actress Monica Potter opened a store in Garrettsville recently, and sometimes you even run into her around town.
10. You've spent your Friday night at the football stadium.
It doesn't matter if you're a dedicated band parent or a dedicated G-men fan, you've sat in the stands in all variations of weather to watch the game. Let's be honest, the G-men aren't always the greatest team- but their fans sure are.
11. You've called it by name other than Garrettsville.
Gville and Gtucky are the most popular ones. I don't know why, but we sure seem to do it a lot.
12. You've spent a fairly large amount of money trying to win things.
At Summerfest, they raffle off a car. Every event of note has a 50/50. Lots of Benefits and Fundraisers involve Chinese auctions. Most recently, the Queen of Hearts has been huge. And we will all spend our money trying to win these, because you never know. (Spoiler alert: I think your odds of a new truck at Summerfest are higher than the Queen of Hearts right now.)
13. No matter how much time you spent trying to get out, you still go back.
I am just as guilty as every other Angsty Teenager to grow up in Garrettsville of claiming I was never coming back, yet I am equally as guilty of constantly coming back. I still frequent the football stadium on a Friday night, or the latest show in the auditorium. I still try and win a new car at Summerfest, and watch Garrettsville Idol. I'll spend forever claiming to hate our town, but I'll always be back.
