All athletes at some point have had a pivotal turning point with their athletic career. Your relationship with your sport is undeniably a love versus hate relationship. When we are on top of our game, there is no doubt as to why we are playing. On the other side, when things get rough or repetitive, we can’t help to wonder why we put ourselves through the suffering. Some athletes end up quitting, but those who don't can only question why they continue to push themselves in practices and games when it gets hard. This is the same for sports lovers and their teams. It is easy to list off the reasons we love being on the court, field, arena, etc, but we often disregard the other negative feelings we have towards our sport. While it irks me to write why my sport, on occasion, is overwhelming and mentally exhausting, I know all athletes have at some point felt as if they weren't good enough or lousy due to how they perform on the field. It is during the more difficult times we tell ourselves we would be better off being just a student rather than a student athlete. So why do we keep pushing ourselves when we have a bad season or when we aren't seeing the results we want? Sports fans, I am talking to you too!

Have you ever went to a practice with a clouded, angry mindset? Maybe you were just tired that day and didn't feel like practicing when you could have been napping or out with friends. Acknowledging the elephant in the room when it comes down to it, you hate your sport. No matter how passionate you are, there’s a small part of you that hates getting ready for practice or hates waking up early on weekends to go to games when you could be sleeping in just like everybody else. Are all the sacrifices you make worth it? Are the opportunity costs worth it? If you are a high schooler, you are missing out on your leisure and it is hard to be involved with your friends and school because you are constantly traveling. As a college student you are missing out on internship opportunities because its physically and mentally impossible to juggle school, sports, and internships. There is not enough time in the day.

Those are things you dislike and really think about when you have off days. Whether you want to admit it or not, you inevitably think about those things. But those are just smaller aspects that you can push through after having a bad practice or an off day. If the sacrifices weren't worth it, then you would quit.

The emotional and physical pain truly comes from the inability to perform to your potential. Maybe it is the fact that you feel betrayed because your basketball coach plays someone else on your team over you every time even though you work just as hard as all the players on your team. Or the fact you practice a certain shot or swing or technique for hours and still cant master consistency. (Obviously it doesn't work like that but in our heads we get angry) For me, what I hate the most is not being able to improve my game as time or seasons pass. Last season, I was injured for most of the season. For someone who doesn't or hasn't been injured, it was one of the worst experiences. I felt guilty for taking time off and it was so frustrating because there was only so much I could practice before feeling any pain. I was envious of all of my teammates for being able to practice and improve their games while all I could do was sit and watch. I think that's were the true “hatred” stems because sometimes our sports make us feel useless or incapable.

Most of all, we hate how you make us feel when we lose. Losing is a feeling that is almost unbearable; it feels like you have been stabbed in the heart multiple times. (That’s dramatic but you get me) After you've lost, the car ride back home with your parents or coach is always the most awkward and tense car ride. Sometimes your parents or coaches, whoever you are with, after a match will throw in that “Im not mad, just disappointed” or maybe its a lot worse than that. And the whole car ride home you are wondering why you put yourself through all that. That exact moment, is the moment you accept that you hate your sport.

From what I've seen, the positives outweigh the negatives by a landslide and the reasons we hate our sports are the reasons why we push ourselves to improve and become better. But the truth is we hate our sports because no matter how much we hate them, we cant relieve ourselves from playing something that we love.

I hate it when you wake me up early, and how tired you make me.

I hate how far I have to travel.

I hate how much I have to practice, just to get my dad to smile.

I hate the weight training, and even the conditioning too.

I hate the way you are always calling my name, even when

I know it is too soon.

I hate the nerves you cause me while I am trying to serve.

I hate how much I sacrifice.

I hate that you make my wrists hurt.

I hate how sad and mad you make me, when I lose.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.