I’m sure many of you have heard that one of Purdue’s beloved alums, Drew Brees, has donated $1 million to our recently wilted football program. So this means we're good again, right? Well, not exactly. Even though this doesn't mean we should be putting Bama on our schedule, it is still an extremely generous donation that can put the program in the right direction if it is used correctly. Here are some of my suggestions, realistic or otherwise, for how Purdue football should spend the money.

1) Improve the athletic facilities so that our school is more attractive to high profile recruits.

2) Clone Drew Brees himself and give him a football scholarship.

3) Increase the recruiting budget to help us compete with some of the larger Big Ten programs.

4) Hire Shia LaBeouf as a motivational speaker.

5) Make improvements to the coaching staff to better utilize the talent that our players already have.

6) Hire the aliens from Space Jam to steal the Seattle Seahawks’ talent and give it to our players.

7) Renovate Ross-Ade Stadium to help create a better game atmosphere, thus improving our home field advantage

8) Promise every high-profile recruit a statue outside the stadium once they graduate.

9) Use the money to help reconnect alumni with the program, so that there would be more donations in the future.

10) Deflate the footballs and bribe officials to keep it under wraps.