Relationships are one of the most exciting aspects of life. However, most significant others won’t make it to the finish line. If the end result of the relationship isn’t marriage, ultimately a breakup happened somewhere along the way. For whatever reason the relationship ended (lack of compatibility, distance, a falling out, etc.), I want to express my empathy. Breakups are right at the top of the list of my least favorite trials to endure, and they even give stink bugs a run for their money!
If you’ve recently had a relationship end, here are 10 ways to mend your broken heart, retrieve your freedom and bounce back stronger than ever:
1. Hit the delete button.
I know it's hard. You probably have a plethora of cute pictures, goodnight texts and random reminders in your phone. Yet sifting through everything incessantly will only make it more difficult to let go of a dead relationship. Go into your text conversations, find his or her name, take a deep breath and select “delete all messages.” I promise, you’re saving yourself from pain down the road. Until you let go of the past, you’ll never be able to embrace the unexpected surprises that the future will bring.
2. Appreciate the little things.
After a complicated experience, one of the most therapeutic ways to feel better is to take a breather. Go outside, and pay attention to the beauty that surrounds you that might have been overlooked in the face of high-stress. Notice the brilliant blue of the sky, the fragrant flowers blooming and the soft spring breeze that foreshadows brighter days ahead.
3. Accept love and support from family and friends.
Your loved ones will want to reach out and be there for you— let them! Spending time with people who can make you laugh until your abs hurt will ease the pain of a breakup. Realize that it will take time to fully heal, but family and friends will most certainly expedite the process. Never underestimate the healing powers of ice cream either.
4. Head to the gym!
A hard workout session will boost your mood by releasing endorphins. Exercise is also a stress-reliever, with many more positive benefits. If you enjoy running, head to the track or trail for an hour. Running frees the spirit, and just think— with every mile, you move farther and farther away from your ex.
5. Music works miracles.
I dare you to listen to “Forget You” by Cee Lo Green without cracking a smile. Music can evoke emotions that words alone cannot, and there is a genre to accommodate whatever you’re feeling. Artists such as Adele, Beyonce, Sia and Ed Sheeran all have songs to soothe the soul. Three Days Grace and Linkin Park can appeal to the listener who wants a little bit of an edge. The possibilities are endless, but I encourage you to plug in those headphones and drown out your worries.
6. Plan fun future events to look forward to.
The concert tickets you’ve had your eye on? Go for them. Having future plans and excursions can make it easier to forget the past and look to the horizon. Whether it be a trip abroad, a summer vacation or even just a gathering of friends, having a full and exciting calendar will mend a broken heart. In addition, volunteering or doing service work will take the focus off of yourself and allow you to help others. Time flies when you’re having fun, so call up some friends and get planning!
7. Hide the evidence.
While you may have really loved wearing the big t-shirts, hoodies or sweatpants that your ex gave you, they are no longer beneficial. You probably do not want a constant reminder of him or her on your body, especially if the scent still lingers. Recognize that it was fun to sport the attire while it lasted, but you’ll feel better returning it to the rightful owner.
8. Set some ambitious goals.
Sign up for that half-marathon you’ve always wanted to run. Add those additional credits to your semester. The best time to recognize what your aspirations in life are is after an event has shaken your core, so use the situation to your advantage and dream big.
9. Reflect on the relationship.
Writing down what you enjoyed and what red flags were noticed can help you become more savvy in future relationships. Good or bad, I’m sure you learned many things while dating the person. Certain people enter your life for a reason, and might only stay for a season.
10. Don’t ever give up hope that there is someone out there who will make all past breakups worth it.
In the words of Swedish House Mafia, “Don’t you worry child, see Heaven’s got a plan for you.” God’s timing is impeccable, and when the time is right, He will make all of the pieces so eloquently fall into place. Until then, best of luck!
