Let’s face it, you can’t scroll through Facebook without thinking, Wow, what is wrong with people these days? I picture Mark Zuckerberg sitting at his computer laughing hysterically at how many people make fools out of themselves on the timeline he created. I have grouped these types of people in ten archetypes. Which one are you?
1. The Attention Seekers
These are the types of people who think that everything they do on social media should raise concern and become the center of everyone’s conversation. You will most likely see a train of comments falling into the sympathy trap, like people asking what's wrong or if they need to talk. If they're a real attention seeker, they'll build the suspense by not responding to those comments.
2. The Mall Kiosk Salespeople
These people remind me of the people at those InStyler kiosk booths in the mall that constantly try and tell you your hair would look so much better after the use of their product. These are the people who are Avon representatives, selling MaryKay, essential oils and other stuff. They pop up on your timeline and actually haunt you. If they really want to get your attention, they’ll invite you to like their business page.
3. The Olympic Gamers
If you have never been invited to play FarmVille, Candy Crush or Criminal case, you’re in good shape. If you’ve never seen someone share their high score every day, you’re in absolute top shape. These people are filling your newsfeed with all their game accomplishments and try to suck you into the Facebook gaming world.
4. The Proud Parents
Lets face it, Facebook has grown to entertain the older generations in the past few years. The rise of parents on Facebook means more family BBQ pictures, dance recital videos, and statuses praising their children’s accomplishments. These people fill your newsfeed with statuses that make you want a family of your own ... right? If this isn’t your mom, this is your friend’s mom. Everyone knows a proud parent.
5. The Creepers
In real life, these people are classified at pedophiles. These people are the reason your parents told you to never talk to strangers and are also the reason your parents told you to decline candy offerings. There's normally not much activity on their profile, they simply use Facebook to check on others. Don't get me wrong though, I’ve caught myself snooping on some old friend’s profiles, so have we all ... these people, on the other hand, are hiding behind their profiles and have Facebook for one reason only: to creep.
6. The Debbie Downer
These people have a constant rain cloud over their head. It could be a perfectly sunny day with a strong economy and yet, they are still unsatisfied and just have to showcase it on Facebook. No matter what is happening in the world, these people pride themselves on finding something wrong with everything. Some even comment on other people’s statuses with rude or negative comments just to start a famous Facebook fight. (Even though these are quite exciting.)
7. The Catfish
If you have ever seen MTV’s "Catfish," you can pretty much conclude that Facebook is a breeding ground for false advertising. You can be whoever you would like to be over the internet. The more mild side of the catfish Facebook user would be to have a profile picture so intensely edited that if the person went missing and the profile picture was used for the posters, you would never find that individual. (As seen above.) The more intense catfish is a completely different person on their Facebook than they are in real life. These people can also be the infamous No. 5 "Creepers."
8. The “I think Facebook is Twitter" People.
Twitter is a fast-paced place to post your ideas about everything and anything. This is a place you can post multiple times a day, and it’s acceptable. Facebook, on the other hand, is not. These types of people think that every minor happening throughout their day must be shared with friends who could care less. “Jane Doe is feeling happy because she just had a brownie!” or “John Doe is feeling sad because his stapler ran out of staples.”
9. The Donald Trump Preacher
If something happens in the world, these are the first people to let you know their opinion on that situation. There are those who just share their political, economic and religious views when no one really asked to hear them. Sure, this is a country that values free speech, but there comes a time when it’s better to keep some things to yourself. There is a huge difference between an argument and a discussion, and the Facebook preachers aren’t ones to leave things up for discussion.
10. The Drunk Facebooker
Much like the drunk texter, the drunk Facebooker tends to get a little too outgoing when it comes to the expression of their feelings and the use of social media. Stay tuned to see Billy Bob take on his 23rd birthday bar-hopping experience! Then watch him make status after status about the girl he should have never let go of ... in middle school. You can almost mentally picture them in front of their computer screens the next morning with an awful hangover going delete delete delete.
Whether you find yourself falling into one of these categories or not, remember folks, always Facebook responsibly.
