This morning I woke up with two fresh red bumps on my face, bags under my tired eyes, and a brain that was telling me I definitely should have gone to bed earlier. Staring intently in my bathroom mirror, I couldn't help but pick out more of my flaws and feel anxious about my insecurities and what other people would notice my curly frizzy hair or that I’ve put on a few pounds. Even worse, I was afraid that if I could notice these flaws so easily, what else would people notice that I haven’t? As young people in the 21st century, we are always trying to better ourselves and perfect flaws, we strive for perfection and happiness all for the ultimate title of success. With social media, body shaming, and pressures from school we are always in constant need of approval as we try to accomplish goals and dreams within the pressure of this social society. But, what we sometimes tend to overlook is that this constant competitiveness and pursuit of perfection can leave us broken and lost when things do not go our way. The unfortunate truth is that we all go through periods of trials and tribulations that leave us falling apart and forced to pick up the pieces. That is why I decided to put together 10 tips to healing brokenness in the hopes that these tips will help someone as much as they have helped me!
1. Admit your brokenness.
The first step to healing your brokenness is admitting that you are broken. While this may be scary and hard for some, by admitting that you have been through tough times and recognizing that you are still okay even with your brokenness, you can look openly at what is causing the pain and the hurt and take the next steps to fix it.
2. Let go of anything holding you back.
If there are friendships or relationships or difficult parts of your past that could be holding you back from healing you must identify them and begin to let go of them. Now,while everyone's situation is different and this step is easier said than done, the rest of the tips (especially number 6 and 7) will help more with this process.
3. Turn your failure into triumph.
Failure while devastating can be very healthy for someone to experience. But lets face it, even though it may be natural and normal to fail at some point that does not mean that failing is easy. For many people, failure is a number 1 fear and can cause people to spiral into anxiety/panic attacks and depression. That's why to heal and to triumph over failure we have to always try to put a positive spin on it, use failure as a learning experience to recognize what not to do in the future and to remember that we are human beings who make mistakes and are nowhere near perfect.
4. Even if you continue to fail, stay positive.
As someone who basically failed two of the same classes in a row and failed a semester of college take it from me, stuff happens and sometimes we have no control over what life is going to hit us with. And although we may not always have control over what happens to us we do have control or how we let it affect us. Positivity is key in this case, always have hope that everything will be okay and do your best to find the bright side!
5. Do not apologize.
Do not ever apologize for your brokenness. Do not ever feel ashamed of your brokenness. Instead boldly embrace it because it has made you who you are! Practice exuding confidence and being unapologetically yourself.
6. Spend time with yourself.
As we get older, one really important thing we must learn is to be okay with ourselves and to be okay with being by ourselves. When we are broken this can be especially hard, but it is important to take time by yourself to learn who you really are as well as being able to recognize your brokenness and what you must do to heal.
7. Your vibe attracts your tribe.
This one is very self-explanatory, but this saying is still so true! The vibe, attitude and energy you give off is going to play a huge part in the people you attract that become a part of your tribe (aka squad). If you give off negative vibes you will most likely attract a very negative group of people. But if you radiate positivity, strength, and happiness, you will attract positive, strong, and supportive people.
8. Love Unconditionally.
Love always wins. So many of us experience brokenness due to heartbreak and many of us are left feeling unloved and unwanted. Even when we do not always feel loved, showing love to others can boost your mood and help to heal your own heart as well as others.
9. Smile.
Of course, you don't have to actually smile if you don't want to, but smiling often is proven to improve happiness, help depression, and make people more relaxed. Plus smiling at others makes people feel good! Smile, damnit!
10. You Are Going To Be Okay.
No matter what you've been through or how deep your brokenness goes you are okay and will be okay! You have made it this far and are so strong. You have more potential than you know and it will take time to heal and realize your potential and that's okay too.
