It's 2 a.m. on a Monday night and your phone light brightens up your whole bedroom. With the only energy you can muster at this ungodly hour, you try your best to see the name of whose calling through your squinted eyes. It's your best friend; panic enters your whole body as you rip the charger out of your cell and answer. Turns out that good for nothing, jerkface broke her heart. These are the 10 thoughts that first cross your mind.
1. There's no way HE broke up with HER.
I am second-hand offended that he even had the audacity!
2. How dare he. What a dirt bag.
Seriously, boys need to take a 101 class on how to be decent human beings.
3. I am totally going to KILL him.
*Google history* "how to get away with murdering my best friend's ex"
4. Next time I see him I am going to punch him right in his manhood.
YOU KNOW WHY.
5. Did I warn her about him or did I warn her?
Where in your head you feel borderline accomplished about being right, but, of course, keep it to yourself until it is the stage where she's ready to laugh about it all.
6. I should've forbidden it more when they first met.
This is where you instantly regret saying, "I don't know about him... but if he makes you happy then I am happy."
7. Which evil scheme can I create to ruin his life?
Where is Gossip Girl when you need her?!
8. Psh, he was ugly anyways.
I knew I should have never approved of him as soon as I saw that bushy uni-brow.
9. Whatever, she is WAY better off.
Whatever major loser! He'll be begging for her back in a week and that's where I'll come in to teach him a lesson.
10. WAIT. Now we can hang out 24/7 again!
Because watching movies and stuffing our face together is what feels right in this world.
I love you bestie. No boy is worth the tears because who needs a poop head for bae goals when you have your best friend? AM I RIGHT?
