10 Thoughts Every First-Time Ice Skater Has When They Hit The Rink

10 Thoughts Every First-Time Ice Skater Has When They Hit The Rink

3. I'm actually going to die!

Watching figure skaters whiz and dazzle across the ice is one of my favorite things to view amongst the Winter Olympic Games. They perform daring feats and make it look so easy to fly across that slippery terrain with nothing but a thin piece of metal between them and the hard ice.

Being unable to skate on ice to any degree, it’s even more amazing for me. Here are several thoughts that probably crossed the minds of anyone who isn’t so good at ice skating.

Before we actually skate, we tend to be either really positive or really negative.

1. I’m going to finally skate right.

Yes, the good old positive outlook. We go in thinking that our streak of failure has ended. Surely, we must have improved somehow over the time between our last ice skating flop and now.

2. This time will be different.

“I’m going to glide over this ice like the inner figure skater that I am!”

3. I’m actually going to die.

We make a huge deal out of this one to sort of prepare ourselves (and friends) mentally for the embarrassment that is to come.

4. Why am I even paying for this? / Why am I here?

Even if it’s free, I guarantee you that we spend a few odd moments regretting getting out of bed and shambling over to fail at something that everyone else is good at.

When we begin skating, we are literally just a ball of panic and anxiety.

5. Slow Down!

Yes, this usually happens when we accidentally get into a sort of groove while skating. For like 3 seconds, we’re doing it right. We're flying and it feels great. Then reality checks in and we realize that we’re going too fast. We panic and lose all skating ability for the next 2-5 minutes.

6.This is actually going well.

Most likely followed by an embarrassing fall. We get over-confident and try to put on a little burst of speed so that we move from almost crawling over the ice, to a nice walking speed. Trust me, it is not going well at all.

7. Please let no one startle me by calling my name

We are concentrating really hard on not falling so whenever a pro ice skating friend whizzes by and says Hi, it messes up our concentration. Don’t startle us. Just find a way to gently get our attention so we don’t lose our focus and spill onto the ice.

8. Glide, don’t walk

This is almost a mantra that we say in our heads as we try to stifle the natural instinct to march over the ice. Instead, we need to glide... which makes little to no sense whatsoever because it feels so unstable and unsafe.

9. Jerk / Insert any insult here

Usually directed at that group of show-offs on the ice that seem to think it’s okay to zoom so close to you. Hope you break a leg doing that weird ice breakdance that you’re doing. I wish I could also do it, but I can’t so you’re a jerk for doing it.

10. I’m not alone!

Nothing is more relief inducing than finding a fellow horrible ice skater. There is some sort of bond formed as you lock eyes in mutual understanding of the struggles you are both facing.

And when we’re done, we are usually very exhausted and beat up. It doesn’t stop us from heading back to the ice next time for another round of ice skating though!

Cover Image Credit: Braden Barwich on Unsplash

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7 Lies From F*ckboys That We've All Fallen For At Least Once

They might've had you goin' for a hot second, but you know better now.

There’s no use in even frontin’; we’ve all been there. You know he’s a f*ckboy from the beginning, but you’re interested in pursuing him anyway. Ain't no thang; I fully support you.

You tell yourself you won’t fall for his games or lies because you’ve been through it all so many times before. Yet, time and time again, you find yourself slippin’ for a hot second, wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt until he inevitably disappoints you. Here are the top seven lies you’ve heard from f*ckboys that get you heated every time.

1. You’re the only girl I’m talking to/sleeping with

HAHAHA. OK, first, I don't actually care what (or who) you're doing in your spare time because you're definitely not the only guy I'm seeing either. I'm just asking so I know you're clean, OK? I don't need more stress in my life.

2. I know how to treat girls right

Isn't it super ironic how the WORST f*ckboys are the ones to toss this line?

3. I’ll text you

This statement is so unbelievable that on the off chance that they do actually text you, you basically fall out of your chair in shock.

4. I’m gonna give it to you good

I cry/cringe/die of laughter every time I hear this one because it's always the mediocre ones that throw this line. None of my most memorable hookups have ever said this because their actions clearly speak for them. Mediocre boys, TAKE NOTE.

5. Damn, I wanted to see you though

Well, you were supposed to, but then you clearly had other plans in mind. So the desire wasn’t all that intense, obviously.

6. Yeah, she and I broke up

CLASSIC LIE. CLASSIC. Sure, I believed it the first couple of times, but don’t even try that sh*t with me after I see she’s still blowin’ up your line.

7. *No response for hours after making plans* Damn, sorry I fell asleep

Honestly, how many times are you gonna throw that line when you’re literally viewable on Snap Map. BOY, I see you at someone else’s house. Stop frontin’, there’s no point.

Again, don't ask me why we put up with this sh*t because the mystery remains. I guess in our own sick, twisted ways, we crave the dramatics and thrills that come from their f*ckery. Whatever the reason, though, at least we've got some ~fun~ stories to tell.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube | I'm Shmacked

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A Letter To My Dad

Through the hard times we have been going through right now, I want to write an open letter to you giving thanks.


Dear Dad,

I remember being annoyed at the amount of sports you signed me up for. I did it all, from baseball to basketball, and soccer to swimming. I even tried volleyball for one day. Although I never stuck with one of them and became the best at it, as I grew older I have become grateful for having gone through so many sports. Although, in the long run, I just realized I did not like any of them except for swimming, maybe, you made me realize from a young age how important it is to try everything.

Dad, I remember the frustration I would get from the pressure I had to make you proud. You never wanted me to settle at giving 100%, and, although it would get me angry and feel like you did not appreciate what I was giving, I was wrong. You always and still see so much potential me, and knowing I have at least one person who will always still believe in me keeps me going. You got me through elementary, middle, and high school. Now you are getting me through college and making sure I do not lose focus on what my end goal is.

You showed me what the true meaning of loyalty is, and that when a person loves you they will go beyond the extra mile for you. I have seen you do it for my mom, sister, and I. We could be going through the worst times but you will still make it work to make it feel like one of our good times. You have shown me what it is to fall and stand back up so many times and while I struggle with my own battles I just think about the ones you have won and how I can do the same. You are a reason as to why I stand up for my beliefs, because you raised me to defend what I believe in and not let others tell me how to think. You have made sure I stand up for something because, if I don't, then what will I have to fall back on?

I could go on about everything I am thankful for of you, but I'll save it for another day. Bottom line is: you are a role model for me and I appreciate everything you have done for me.


Your oldest daughter

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