10 Thoughts Every First-Time Ice Skater Has When They Hit The Rink

10 Thoughts Every First-Time Ice Skater Has When They Hit The Rink

3. I'm actually going to die!

Watching figure skaters whiz and dazzle across the ice is one of my favorite things to view amongst the Winter Olympic Games. They perform daring feats and make it look so easy to fly across that slippery terrain with nothing but a thin piece of metal between them and the hard ice.

Being unable to skate on ice to any degree, it’s even more amazing for me. Here are several thoughts that probably crossed the minds of anyone who isn’t so good at ice skating.

Before we actually skate, we tend to be either really positive or really negative.

1. I’m going to finally skate right.

Yes, the good old positive outlook. We go in thinking that our streak of failure has ended. Surely, we must have improved somehow over the time between our last ice skating flop and now.

2. This time will be different.

“I’m going to glide over this ice like the inner figure skater that I am!”

3. I’m actually going to die.

We make a huge deal out of this one to sort of prepare ourselves (and friends) mentally for the embarrassment that is to come.

4. Why am I even paying for this? / Why am I here?

Even if it’s free, I guarantee you that we spend a few odd moments regretting getting out of bed and shambling over to fail at something that everyone else is good at.

When we begin skating, we are literally just a ball of panic and anxiety.

5. Slow Down!

Yes, this usually happens when we accidentally get into a sort of groove while skating. For like 3 seconds, we’re doing it right. We're flying and it feels great. Then reality checks in and we realize that we’re going too fast. We panic and lose all skating ability for the next 2-5 minutes.

6.This is actually going well.

Most likely followed by an embarrassing fall. We get over-confident and try to put on a little burst of speed so that we move from almost crawling over the ice, to a nice walking speed. Trust me, it is not going well at all.

7. Please let no one startle me by calling my name

We are concentrating really hard on not falling so whenever a pro ice skating friend whizzes by and says Hi, it messes up our concentration. Don’t startle us. Just find a way to gently get our attention so we don’t lose our focus and spill onto the ice.

8. Glide, don’t walk

This is almost a mantra that we say in our heads as we try to stifle the natural instinct to march over the ice. Instead, we need to glide... which makes little to no sense whatsoever because it feels so unstable and unsafe.

9. Jerk / Insert any insult here

Usually directed at that group of show-offs on the ice that seem to think it’s okay to zoom so close to you. Hope you break a leg doing that weird ice breakdance that you’re doing. I wish I could also do it, but I can’t so you’re a jerk for doing it.

10. I’m not alone!

Nothing is more relief inducing than finding a fellow horrible ice skater. There is some sort of bond formed as you lock eyes in mutual understanding of the struggles you are both facing.

And when we’re done, we are usually very exhausted and beat up. It doesn’t stop us from heading back to the ice next time for another round of ice skating though!

Cover Image Credit: Braden Barwich on Unsplash

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Golden Retrievers:

Mid-Major College Basketball Team Stuns NCAA Tournament Favorite, Top Overall Seed Virginia

It’s the most hyped up, exciting time of the year for sports fans. That’s right, it’s the 2018 NCAA Tournament. This weekend, a handful of power conference and smaller conference college basketball teams took the basketball courts in eager anticipation for a chance to survive and advance toward winning a national championship. However, for top seeded teams, it is also the one opportunity for small, mid-major conference teams to make a name for themselves on national television and become villains to those filling out their brackets.

This has been the case so far. Already, two 13 seeded NCAA men’s basketball teams, the University of Buffalo Bulls and the Marshall Thundering Herd, did damage to every college basketball/sports fans’ brackets, respectively pulling off wins over Arizona and Wichita State, respectively. March madness is alive and well.

But just when the tournament couldn’t get any more wild and crazy, it did last night. The top seeded Virginia Cavaliers, coached by Tony Bennett (not to be confused with the legendary singer), traveled to Charlotte, North Carolina to take on the America East conference tournament champions the University of Maryland-Baltimore County Retrievers. A lot of people counted on Virginia to not only win that game, but to advance to the National Championship and ultimately win it. UMBC punched their ticket to the Big Dance by hitting a game-winning jump shot in the America East tournament final against Vermont. Nobody thought they had a chance.

But the players on UMBC truly believed in themselves and their coach, Ryan Odom. The Cavaliers, best known for their excellent play on defense, found themselves surprisingly tied at 21 at the half. Once the second half began, the game got out of reach. The Retrievers played at a faster pace, with more energy, and kept knocking down two-point and three-point jump shots, while giving the Cavaliers a taste of their own medicine: Virginia was held to 54 points the ENTIRE game! In blowing out Virginia 74-54, UMBC became the first ever 16 seed in the tournament to win against a number one seed. Brackets now are totally busted.

UMBC’s road to the tournament was a strange one. They lost to UAlbany by 44 points earlier in the season, and they clinched a spot in the tournament thanks to a game-winning three point shot over the heavily favored top seed, the Vermont Catamounts. And yet, the team had very high levels of confidence, and didn’t feel phased by the underdog label placed on them. The Retrievers did end up losing to Kansas State in the next round, but their performance against Virginia will be remembered as one of the greatest upsets in college basketball and sports history. Once again, the Retrievers, like the other underdog teams who won, proved that the NCAA tournament is the wildest, craziest, up in the air nationally televised sports event ever. Look for them again next season.

Cover Image Credit: thegamblersreport.com

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Jordy Nelson Is The True Packer That Green Bay Will Never Forget

A letter to one of the best to wear green and gold.

This past week, the Green Bay Packers released Jordy Nelson, a truly devastating day for any Packers fan. As what I would call myself, a super fan, I was quite distraught when hearing the news of Nelson's release. Because of this, I have decided that it would be best to get my sadness out through writing an open letter.

Dear Jordy,

The past 10 years have been incredible. Words can not describe how thankful the entirety of Packer nation is to have been able to share the last decade with you. Whether it was coming in clutch during plays, or that infectious smile, you were always able to make your own fans happy, and never disappointed.

When you came into the league, I figured I was around 9 years old. Though your role was not big in your first couple of years in the league, many people knew you'd be destined for some kind of big role on the Pack. As a kid on the playground in 5th grade, I saw your breakout game in Super Bowl XLV and, instantaneously, I wanted to be Jordy Nelson in many games of playground football.

As the years went on, you continued to get better, to the point where you even made yourself into the "got milk?" poster boy all across Wisconsin. Each day in middle school, I remember walking into the cafeteria, seeing a cardboard cut out of you holding milk and would get some milk of my own, just to be like you.

Eventually, you became one of the premier receivers in the NFL, and there was nothing better than watching that Rodgers-Nelson connection week in and week out. In total, we saw you guys combine for 70 touchdowns in your time with the team, while setting team records left and right.

When you tore your ACL in the 2015 season, we were all devastated. It seemed as though you were going to be primed for another big year, and instead, you were forced to watch from the sidelines. However, you did not take this time for granted. You put maximum effort and time into training the young receivers on the team in order to help the squad succeed, and they did.

Following that season, you were your old self, and it was so awesome to have you back. I remember countless "Jordy!" celebrations in my basement on your way to becoming the NFL's comeback player of the year.

Despite a low year this past season, you were still one of the unquestioned leaders on the team, and a teacher to many. Even though you ended up being released, you will forever be remembered in Green Bay.

You define what a true Packer is. You are hard working, humble, and willing to sacrifice for the team. You are unquestionably one of the greatest Packers to ever do it, and even though there was no storybook ending to your time in Green Bay, no one will ever have the same impact that you did.

Thank you for everything, White Lightning, for inspiring kids all over Packer nation, and being a true role model in everything you do. We wish you nothing but the best in your next ventures, and can't wait to see you continue to tear up the NFL.


Packer fans everywhere

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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