I never really realized the importance of how even the smallest adjustments you make in life can make all the difference! About two years ago, I dealt with a lot of anxiety and stressors during my college experience, and quite frankly, I wasn't doing much to change it. Luckily, one day I decided to take a class on managing stress and anxiety, and I actually took the time to read all of the assigned text (crazy, I know). One of the biggest things I got out of the class was realizing that a lot of the stress I was dealing with was 100 percent preventable and usually brought upon by my worst enemy: me. Usually when you think about health, you think about exercising, working out and even meditating. However, it is so much more than that. After thinking about how I have learned to manage everyday stressors and become healthier, I talked to some friends about how they strive to live a happier, healthier life and I have come up with ten things that really helped me in my journey to achieving happiness!
1. Surround yourself with the right people.
I have always been told that the five people you surround yourself with the most, are the people you start to act like. For this reason, it's okay to drop someone if they are not making you a better person. It's okay to drop someone if they are not there for you. It's okay to drop someone if you find that your relationship is becoming a chore and in no way beneficial. When I started to realize that it is okay not to please everyone for the sake of pleasing everyone, I became much happier when the relationships in my life that were draining me were removed.
2. Unplug.
Believe it or not, social media can create a lot of stress, especially in our generation! We are constantly feeling as if we have to put our best foot forward, which is exhausting. Social media also pressures us to compare ourselves to others. DON'T DO THIS! It is so harmful, as comparison is truly the thief of joy. If you really struggle with this, I suggest unplugging for a bit. On a study abroad program I did last summer, I deleted a few forms of social media to really engage in a new culture and live for the experience. I have no regrets!
3. If you have to force yourself to do it, then why are you doing it?
This seems a bit obvious, but think about all of the times you found yourself doing something just to please someone, when you would have rather been doing LITERALLY anything else. Just as it's okay to drop someone who is not good for you, it's okay to say no! A lot of stress is brought upon when you spread yourself too thin. Saying no to someone does not make you a bad person. It's human! In fact, saying yes too often leaves room for people to start taking advantage of you.
4. Face your fears!
Don't be afraid to take risks! Scared to try that gym class? You'll be proud of yourself after. You want to skydive as much as you don't want to skydive? As Will Smith pointed out in a recent video that went viral, bliss is on the other side of fear.
5. Strive to be confident.
Remember that confidence and arrogance are very different things. Confidence is believing in yourself, being proud of the things you have accomplished, and striving to realize that the only opinion that matters is the one you have of yourself. It's also probably one of the most attractive traits in a person. People are drawn to those that are confident!
6. Give people second chances.
Occasionally give people third chances, but aim to never go over that limit. My mother always told me that when people show you their true colors, you should believe them. If someone doesn't want to change, you can't make them. If someone doesn't see the error of their ways, they probably never will. However, this does not mean that people don't deserve a second or third chance every once in a while, because everyone makes mistakes!
7. Care about image and first impressions
To be clear, I don't mean impressions on social media. It's okay to be confident and not care what others think of you, but at the same time, giving a clear representation of who you are is important. Think about applying for a job, for example. You want to put your best foot forward. On top of this, take good care of yourself. Believe it or not, caring about your image and the impression you make on people by taking extra time in the morning to look and feel good can help boost your confidence!
8. Be your own best friend.
You are your biggest advocate! Every once and a while I force myself to do things alone just to get out of my comfort zone, and it has helped me immensely. You need to do things alone. You also need to be kind to yourself! The words that you say about yourself out loud eventually become the ones you believe. So make sure the words you use when talking to yourself are kind ones. Wake up everyday and say something nice to yourself. You deserve it!
9. Forgive others.
Although this could be categorized under "giving people second chances", forgiveness is a lot more than that. For a while I had a problem with waiting too long to discuss something that was bothering me with someone, and instead of handling it properly, grudges formed. One day I woke up and realized that people come and go, and it is so important to hold on to the ones you love. Sometimes the only way to do this is to forgive, and also to ask for forgiveness from others.
10. Strive to find yourself.
I don't know if we ever truly stop trying to find ourselves, but the journey in doing so is essential. Learn to be passionate. Find that thing you love and stick to it! If you ever feel like you have wasted time with something, well, fortunately, you have the rest of your life to change that. Life is short, but it's never too late!
