My dad is the best man I know, no questions asked. He's even better than Napoleon Dynamite, and that is saying a lot coming from me. He and I are polar opposites: He loves sports, and I almost got a B in ninth grade P.E. He listens to country music, while I can usually be found either in a choir room or listening to '90s alternative. He works with numbers and construction, and math made me cry in high school. That being said, he always encouraged my athletic endeavors (even though they didn't last long), sits through choir concerts without complaint, and didn't make too much fun when I stressed over precalculus. I could go on forever about all my dad has done for me. Here are a few things to thank your dad for today.
1. Ruining your diet
I think my dad can sense when I'm trying really hard to eat healthily. Just when I think I've sworn off carbs forever, he will wake me up to my favorite coffee and a blueberry donut. Curse you, dad.
2. Calling you all the time
If I call my dad, there is a 98 percent percent chance he won't answer the first try. When I went on my first solo road trip, it felt like he called me 20 times before I got there. "Yes, I'm in the next town over. No, I'm not speeding (much). No, I'm not going to stop at a suspicious-looking gas station. Yes, I will call you the second I get there." This, folks, is a perfect example of a protective dad, and I'm glad I've got one.
3. Keeping you humble
On Friday nights, I like to wash my sheets, put on pajamas and fuzzy socks, and read a book or watch Netflix. Dad is always there to point out that I'm at home and ask, "Don't you have any plans?" No, dad. You are in your 40s and have more than a social life than I do.
4. Constantly checking your car
Before I had the vehicle I currently drive, I had a really seedy car that was more emotionally unstable than a teenage girl. Dad was always there to tell me what to do when it started beeping and to tell me no, it wasn't going to explode. One time it "broke down" for no reason, and he knew without even checking that it had just run out of gas. My dad is a genius! I may not be able to say the same for myself.
5. Forcing you to be less high maintenance
If I didn't have my dad, I probably would have never heard of Hamburger Helper. When dad was in charge of supper, we would either have egg sandwiches, shell macaroni and cheese, or Hamburger Helper. While I'm not exactly a fan of these foods, it was either eat it or be hungry. So I guess, in the long run, he taught me to be grateful for what I have to eat. Even if it is scary looking.
6. Telling you "no"
I know what the word "no" means! And I'm glad! No, you can't go on a road trip by yourself that far away. No, you can't wear that! No, you can't have a taser (okay, maybe I understand that one).
7. Getting you outside your comfort zone
I am a city girl. I'm terrified of spiders, lack of indoor plumbing, and the thought of smelling bad. But when dad would take me to our deer camp, all of those fears had to be forgotten. My siblings loved spending time in the woods like they were cave children or something. I took a bit longer to break. Eventually I got over my city ways enough to kill a deer. It was a one-time thing.
8. Giving you a sense of humor
When I was younger, I was a sensitive little fella. Too sensitive. I would've been eaten alive if I didn't learn how to take a joke. Luckily, my dad taught me how to get teased and to dish it right back out again. Even now, when I sometimes get too defensive about things, and he's there to keep my sassiness in check.
9. Moving things!
This is so important! Ladies and gents, thank your dad for moving things for you! His sort of muscly arms make college move-in days ten trillion times easier! My dad is an angel!
10. Reminding you that you're awesome
Dads are always there to tell their daughters that they are too good for any boy who shows interest in them, but will be nice and shake hands anyway when the time comes to meet the boy you bring home. My dad would probably rather I stay home for the rest of my life, but he has finally come to terms with me dating. I think.
My dad is a hardworking, nap-loving man who would do anything for his family. He says after proofreading this article that he's not sure how to feel being compared to Napoleon Dynamite. It's still a compliment. I am immensely blessed to have him, and he will always be my number one guy. Thank your dad for being great.
