It’s November again, and as every New Englander knows, it’s time to throw on a bathing suit and keep up the long-held Puritan tradition of jumping into the nearest river in order to properly celebrate a successful harvest. For UMass Lowell students, it is a time to thank the Merrimack River for giving us an abundance of loaves and fish to eat. These 10 river god-pleasing activities are a surefire way to help you honor our celestial body of water in style.
1. Acquaint yourself with Lowell’s unique history.
Lowell is an American mill city so have an up close and personal confrontation with the 33-foot drop in the river that provided enough hydropower to employ the only 75 percent-women workforce in American history.
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2. Save time on your commute, while improving your breaststroke.
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3. Slather yourself in purple paint.
Enjoy the frigid waters while you declare yourself the ultimate Lock Monsters superfan and demand they immediately return to the city.
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4. Cool off after a long run on the riverwalk by swimming past East Campus.
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5. Understand the reason that ducks and geese evolved over millions of years.
They did it to be able to live in environments like the one you will be wading in.
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6. Explore the deepest and darkest parts of your mind.
Your body is about 70 percent water, so a casual dip in the river is the perfect avenue for self-discovery.
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7. Play king of the dock at the Lowell Motor Boat Club on Orchard Hill.
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8. Do your own safety inspection of the Rourke Bridge.
Just to make sure that it’s up to your lofty civil engineering standards.
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9. Gain an entirely new and refreshing perspective on why there’s a lot to like about Lowell.
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10. Meet the Lowell Police.
After they orchestrate a plan to pull you out of the river that state and local governments have deemed “unfit” for you to swim in.
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