With freshman year coming to a close and summer upon us, I've been reflecting on the memories, friendships, and successes of the past year. Many of them have been a direct product of my Greek affiliation, and I can't help but think back to this time last year when I was registering for sorority recruitment. The good, the bad, and the ugly, here are some things I picked up from being on the other side that I wish I could tell myself when I was starting out.
1. You're going to meet some people who will change your perspective.
My suitemate turned roommate turned sister turned best friend is, and I hate to admit it, a Yankee. Originally from the Chicago area and the product of a private school education, she is the last person on this earth I thought I would get close to. But, we clicked over recruitment. We slowly discovered we were looking for the same things in a sorority, which ultimately led us to discover a lot of commonalities.
We both have the same love for frozen treats, HGTV, shopping, and the same slightly compulsive tendencies. She doesn't complain when I use southern sayings she doesn't understand or get upset when I steal her mom's homemade pesto. I try not to let it bother me that she still says her “A's" wrong and doesn't know what soup beans are.
2. Choose foundation for the skin tone you have, not the skin tone you want.
If you are a Reese Witherspoon, don't buy the Sofia Vergara bronzer. At the beginning of the day, you'll be blended and looking like the fake-bronzed goddess that you are. Sometime around noon, when it's raining or that Kentucky humidity is in full force, you're going to more closely resemble a zebra with mascara. My bid day pictures are living proof of this phenomenon.
3. Bring a bag with some flip-flops or comfy shoes.
You'll thank me when you're trying to run down Rose Street in heels because you have five minutes to get from the Pi Beta Phi house to Kappa Kappa Gamma.
4. Make notes on the houses you liked and the ones you didn't.
After so many houses, they really do start to run together, and you want to remember the good with the bad.
5. DON'T call houses by the wrong name.
Again, from personal experience. If you don't know what the sorority's “nickname" is (i.e. ADPi for Alpha Delta Pi), that is perfectly fine. Just say the full name. Calling the house the wrong name during a round can be embarrassing.
6. If you're not picture perfect, they're not judging you.
You're hot. It's rained on you. Your hair is three times the size it was when you left your room this morning and you're sweating worse than a sinner in church. It's hard to put our best feet forward when we don't feel put together, but try to keep in mind that every single active you meet has been the nervous PNM, maybe not so long ago.Try to shine through all the tiredness and imperfections, and let them see that you can laugh at yourself; sororities want to bring in real girls, not just the ones who still look like Lilly models at the end of the day.
7. You're going to have Rush Crushes at every house.
…and that's okay. I talked to so many girls throughout the week that I had a lot in common with. I still see a few of them around campus and in my classes. If you felt like you really connected with someone, even if you didn't become their sister, it's okay to talk to them when you see them around. You're a sorority member, but you're also a UK student for the next four years. Reach out to people outside of your organization. You won't be disappointed in the friendships you make.
8. There isn't some sort of trick to greeting you at the door.
Being the hyperactive three-year-old I am on the inside, I was singing, clapping, psychotically smiling, and head bobbing when I walked into my first house for Recruitment. But, if that's not your thing, it can be more than a little intimidating. You won't know where you're going when you get picked up at the door, and, if you're anything like me, you're trying really hard to say all the right things.
Here's a secret: You can take the water if you're thirsty. If you go down the wrong hallway by mistake, you are not going to get written off. They aren't recording your every move to look for some secret set of superficial criteria. If you go in realizing that, you can avoid some of the nervousness.
9. Remember, for every girl that gets 13 houses back after Open House, there's someone who only gets three.
Be humble and supportive. Some people may have a harder time opening up than you do, or might be more affected by homesickness. Don't brag if you don't get cut from any houses all week, and don't feel ashamed if you do. The system is not perfect, and sometimes you meet actives you don't have that much in common with or it's more of a challenge to strike up conversation. As cliché as it sounds, everyone ends up where they are supposed to be at the end of the week, and recruitment is not a competition to see who can get invited back to the most functions. Take it all in stride, I promise it works out.
10. If the house you get on bid day is a surprise, roll with it.
I know plenty of girls who were certain they were going to be a **Insert Greek Letter organization here** when they opened their card on bid day, only to find out they got their second or third choice. Even if you are feeling disappointed or just shocked, feed into the enthusiasm of the day. Bid Day, in many ways, sets the tone for your beginning in Greek life. If you make the best of it, I promise, everyone else's positivity will be contagious, and you may discover you're right where you were supposed to be all along.
One final note I wish I could give myself: When you get to that lawn on bid day, no matter what house it is or who the excited strangers dressed in white dresses are surrounding you, you are home.
This is the place you will spend your next four years. These are the friends you will laugh with, cry with, grow with, and truly understand the definition of friendship with. These are the women you will aspire to be and the ones who will teach you more about life than you could ever learn on your own. To speak to our creed in Alpha Delta Pi, this is where you will learn the definition of living for others.
Get ready. It's going to be one hell of a ride.
