A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article about self-love, and I mentioned that one of the key steps to becoming your own best friend is removing toxic relationships from your life. Sound easy enough? Nope. This step is challenging because it requires you to look past the facade and identify when a relationship in your life has become toxic. Here are 10 signs to look for when you're evaluating the relationships in your life, whether they be a lover, a best friend, or even a family member.
1. You aren't happy anymore.
It isn’t realistic to expect to be happy in every moment of a relationship, but as a whole, this person should make you a happier person. He or she should make you feel supported and capable of doing whatever the hell it is you want to do. Is the relationship really worth it if they don't?
2. They make you feel insecure.
A healthy, loving relationship is filled with support and encouragement, not criticism and contempt. If you’re in a constant state of anxiety around your partner and feel like you can never do anything right, that’s one of the biggest signs your relationship is dysfunctional.
3. There's a lack of healthy communication.
You have feelings, too, but the other person won’t hear them. You’re unable to have a two-sided conversation where your opinion is heard, considered and respected. Instead of acknowledging your feelings, they battle with you until they get the last word.
4. You're constantly arguing.
Another sign of lack of healthy communication. You can't work out problems if you're yelling at each other. While some arguing is normal in a relationship (healthy, even), there is a fine line between healthy amounts and toxic amounts.
5. There's too much passive aggression.
Instead of stating a desire or thought overtly, your partner tries to nudge you in the right direction of figuring it out yourself. Instead of saying what’s actually upsetting you, you find small and petty ways to piss your partner off so you’ll then feel justified in complaining to them.
6. Your partner is a little too jealous. 
Some people mistake jealousy for a sign of being loving and caring, but it’s often the mask for someone who is controlling and possessive. It also indicates a lack of trust, which is essential to maintaining a healthy connection.
7. You feel hopeless.
There is a difference between staying in a relationship because you’re comfortable, and staying because you truly want to be there. If you feel like your relationship isn’t going anywhere, why waste the time?
8. You're always walking on eggshells.
One of the first signs of a toxic relationship is when one partner is very controlling. Controlling doesn't always mean physically threatening or violent, though. It can simply be that you feel frightened to share your opinions — you're constantly walking on eggshells because you're afraid of your partner's emotional reactions.
9. "Buying" the solution to a problem becomes the norm.
Any time a major conflict or issue comes up in the relationship, instead of solving it, one covers it up with the excitement and good feelings that come with buying something nice or going on a trip somewhere. This is not and should not be the answer to all your problems. If your partner treats it like it is, that's a sign you need to get out.
10. There's an absence of trust.
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas: you can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.
You deserve utter happiness, and getting rid of toxicity in your life is one of the first steps to gaining that happiness.
