They say the first step is admitting that there's a problem, so here I go...
With the help of my patient friends and family members, I have finally come to the realization that I, Sara Goldstein, am a Starbucks addict.
Like most addictions, it started small and gradually came to be what it is today: a full blown, life-controlling addiction. It began a few years ago with the occasional, innocent Starbucks run, that only happened while I was already out. Now, Starbucks runs are an imperative part of my daily routine. I have become a slave to my cravings: waking up early to stop at Starbucks, running out in the deep and dark hours of the night to get to the nearest Starbucks before closing, unable to function without my coffee fix.
If this sounds like you, you too may suffer from this very same addiction. If you're unsure, here are some signs to help you identify a Starbucks addiction:
1. Your friends are constantly making fun of your love of all things Starbucks.
They just don't understand. Starbucks is LOVE. Starbucks is LIFE.
2. You own a concerning amount of Starbucks brand products.
And you cherish these products like they are your children (and you do this regardless of their reliability).
3. You've been a Gold Card member for longer than you can remember.
It’s been so long that you have begun to assume that everyone has a Gold Card.
Achieving the Starbucks Gold Card member status was monumental and should be treated as a holiday.
4. You think of the money on your Gold Card as “fake money.”
It makes you sad to think about all the money you spend at Starbucks every week, month, and year. Chances are you probably could’ve put a down payment on a brand new car with all the money you've spent over the past few years (but it’s okay because Starbucks is better than a car, right?).
You find yourself rationing the free drinks for times when you're having an off day and need a few extra (99 extra, to be specific) shots of espresso in your Venti Caramel Macchiato (with extra caramel).
But don't worry, after that free drink code is used there are only one or two more purchases until your next free drink!
6. When you get promotional e-mails you are sure to fulfill all purchases necessary to receive the offer.
This is the time when you find yourself buying unnecessary quantities of coffee. Purchasing 15 cups of coffee in 5 days for 3 extra stars? Totally worth it.
At least some of my friends approve. (Yes, this was an actual conversation I had with a friend.)
7. The baristas recognize you, and sometimes they even know you by name.
It’s not uncommon for the barista to ask you if you want “the regular." And you have no shame because you've earned it.
8. Your friends and family members have begun to refer to your favorite drink as “The [insert your name].”
This is probably the peak of your life.
9. Your day isn’t complete without a Starbucks run.
This is most likely the only running you'll be doing today. Walking to and from the Starbucks counter is a great (and immediately rewarding) cardio exercise.
10. You notice yourself feeling rather lethargic on the days you cannot make a coffee-run.
Tired is an understatement.
11. You've tried other brands but you just cannot let go of your one true love, Starbucks.
There's nothing like the taste of the Starbucks iced coffee with caramel drizzle (a.k.a. "The Sara Goldstein").
