1. Because you're an adult and adults aren't allowed to have fun.
You should be at your nine to five job or doing your taxes. Adults shouldn't be playing silly games like 'Pokemon Go
2. Pokemon
Pokemon
Demon
3. The terrorists want you to play 'Pokemon Go!'
The P
4. You might accidentally get some exercise.
This is actually so un-American and very alarming to think that this could be happening right now. Disgusting.
5. You might get hurt/something bad could happen to you.
Playing 'Pokemon Go!' is actually the only possible way or circumstance that anyone could get into an accident, hurt themselves, be robbed, or anything else bad that could happen to you. Literally society was perfect before this game.
6. One caught P
If this were true, I'd actually want everyone to stop playing this game and this would be a very serious article.
7. You might meet new people and/or make new friends.
Hey, we're all
8. Non-Pokemon fans might be forced to see you having a good time and experiencing your shared world that they do not own.
How dare you walk around town re-living your childhood, having the time of your life while others are also outside and can see you. That is so rude, flaunting your happiness like that, you might force someone to go on the internet and reveal how jealous and bitter they are.
9. 'Pokemon Go!' caused 9/11.
Jet fuel burned through those steel beams? No, that was Charizard.
10. The Bible says it's wrong and everyone else who plays it are sending those who don't to Hell.
Because when you don't like something and it's a part of your religion, then no one else is allowed to do that thing because it absolutely affects you.
