Some women are great at this stuff. They know the difference between a touchdown and a basket, a goal and a run. They know why the ump calls strikes and the ref calls fouls. They know how many people are on the court at once, and how many wait readily on the sideline. But for some of us, football meets, tennis games, and swim matches just aren’t our thing. Here's 10 questions we should probably refrain from asking at the expense of our significant other's sanity.
1. Is that the guy who dated what’s her face?
Yes, love. The answer is always yes.
2. The yellow flag totally means slow down, right?
You're really on to something, babe.
3. Why do they blow the whistle every three seconds?
The player’s down, pumpkin. They can’t continue the play when the big guy with the oddly shaped ball gets tackled to the ground.
4. Oh my god, did that hurt?
Not as much as it pains me to sit here and entertain your many questions, sweetie pie.
5. How long is this thing?
There are four quarters, baby doll.
6. Well… is it almost over?
Yes, dear. Like I said, there are four quarters in the game. Thank the heavens above that we’re nearing the end of the third quarter.
7. What do they call it when they get it in the hoop? A goal?
It’s a basket, my love. They’ve scored a basket.
8. Hold on… how did they jump from 0 to 6 points SO fast?
It’s called a touchdown, cupcake. The fast man ran the ball over that thick white line and scored a touchdown.
9. Do they serve martinis?
Here, sweet-heart. Shoves beer into hands. Drink this.
10. Wait, wouldn’t this be the cutest place EVER to pop the question?
No comment.
But ladies, if you can find a boyfriend as patient as the one above, you’ve found yourself a winner. Let’s hope he pops the question at the next game!
