1. The COB Snob.
We all know one. Not quite on Wall Street, these Wolves of Port Republic have passion in their hearts and caffeine in their veins. They are hard working students that probably think they are better than you, and that's because one day they probably will be. Based on their gruesome narrations of “300," it is unclear whether they are depicting details of the course or the 2007 American fantasy war film. Habitat: Showker, Mrs. Greens.
2. The Frat Star.
Boat shoes and button downs and croakies, oh my. Forget Easter. These men rock pastels all year round. If you're looking for fun, look no further. Frat star qualifications: can't wait for Foxfields, loves to dage, loves his bros, and probably into bowties. Also more than likely to have an American flag hung up somewhere in the apartment. Many are business majors (see: COB Snob). Habitat: Forest (Thursday-Sunday) in a Vineyard Vines store.
3. The “I'm-Not-A-Typical-Sorority-Girl" Sorority Girl.
Class starts at 10 a.m. She shows up at 10:10 with a tall double chocolate-chip frappacino in hand. Tall leather boots. Spirit Jersey. Bonus points for
Lily Pullitzer planner. Often claims that her big is the “best Big in the entire world." We'll just leave it at that. Habitat: second floor of Carrier Library, Chipotle.
4. The Instagrammer.
You SMAD bro? Most likely to come up with a punny caption for your Instagram, have a Go-Pro attached to their forehead, and/or have their phone out ready to capture whatever embarrassing thing you are doing and post it to their Snapchat Story. Every moment is a Kodak moment with a SMADie. Sure, laugh while they take 57 pictures of their Starbucks drink until they get it just right. But one day they will win an Academy Award while the closest the rest of us get to an Oscar is a wiener.Habitat: Harrison Hall, on the Quad taking artsy pictures of Wilson.
5. The Ambassador.
If a Student Ambassador were to fall and scrape their knee, purple and gold blood would start spewing. These life-loving individuals are proud to be Dukes. In fact, they were probably your FROGS. Their hobbies include playing icebreaker games and singing the JMU Fight Song. They will gladly tell you all about the legend of the kissing rock or why that squeaky echo thing happens when you clap in the middle of the sundial on the quad. We don't know how you guys have so much energy (and we also don't know how you guys are so good at walking backwards), but your unwavering dedication to making our school look awesome does not go unnoticed. Snaps for SA. Habitat: Anywhere on campus leading a tour group.
6. The Acca-People.
Musical theater majors this includes you. You guys make our school sound really good. Whether it's Exit 245 mashing up our favorite Disney songs or Madison Project singing in the shower, we all wish we had your vocal chords. BluesTones, Note-Oriety, and all the other singing groups also kill the game. We imagine that their parties would include some pretty serious harmonization and we are all dying to know how Big Sean sounds with background harmonies. When people make fun of you guys for knowing every single word to Frozen, you're too talented to care and just simply let it go.
Subdivision: The Groupies -- the people who hang out with (or wish they were) the Acca-People. Habitat: Forbes Center for Performing Arts, on Twitter tweeting #VoiceSaveRyan.
7. The People in Purple Scrubs.
JMU meets Grey's Anatomy. We are not exactly sure why these individuals are wearing scrubs all the time. Perhaps performing open heart surgery in between classes? The reasoning remains undetermined. However, their lack of outfit variance is sort of like in the Fairly Odd Parents how Timmy Turner wears the same outfit every day and everyone just sort of accepts it. One thing we can be sure of: you guys look hardcore and we are all jealous. Habitat: Burruss Hall, ECL.
8. The Campus Cadet.
The Reserve Officers' Training Corps (a.k.a. ROTC) students today, soldiers tomorrow. These people deserve all the respect in the world. Tending to be more serious in stature, the ROTC participants live half their life as a student and half their life as a trainee. Kind of like Hannah Montana, but less glam and more guns. They are in their own class of cool. They can be somewhat intimidating, especially when in uniform. However, one day they will serve our country and for that we are grateful and honored to have them as Dukes. Habitat: Training in the woods, Memorial.
9. The Child Enthusiast.
The IDLS majors have it made. A life of vinegar-and-baking-soda volcanoes and all the paste you can eat. Ah, the pre-college schooling days. It's easy to forget that there once was a time when school didn't involve ramen noodles and 2 p.m. classes. These future teachers spend day after day learning how to carve the future minds of America. They practice patience, kindness, and a caring nature that we can all appreciate. Habitat: Practicum (Harrisonburg Elementary School), Memorial.
10. The Future President.
The Student Government Association. Legend has it even their pajamas are business casual. These future politicians of America are always in the know. They remain somewhat low on the radar, but engage in a debate with one of these guys and prepare for utter obliteration. Check their social media profiles if you are interested in cleverly worded ways to try to get you to go to school-funded events. Habitat: Warren, Festival, all over your Facebook newsfeed.
