So it’s almost thanksgiving and you’re just about done with every aspect of your life; you’re always stressed and you miss home more than ever. You’re constantly annoyed with your roommates, you can’t stand to sit through another class, and you just can’t seem to feel happy anymore. Trust me, you’re not alone, this is exactly where I am right now. I haven’t felt happy since longer than I can remember and I actually feel like I might lose my mind. This might be because we’re all sick of doing to same thing every day. Or because for those of you who did not go home for Fall Break like me, the last time you were home felt like forever ago. Although this is many people’s most stressful time of the year, this year has been an eye opening experience for me, and here is why.

I decided to have a new outlook on my life, the people that surround me, and the things I choose to participate in. I have found that everything I am doing, the people I am hanging out with and the way I look at myself is making me miserable. I am hating life right now. Although dramatic, it is true and I am sure many of you are feeling the same way. So here is the one quote that truly changed my outlook on my life and myself and hopefully could change yours, too:

“It is not a person or situation that affects your life; it is the meaning you give to that person or situation, which influences your emotions and actions. Your choice is to change the meaning you gave it or to change your response, in order to create the outcome you want.” -- Shannon L. Alder

I have been giving people, my job, and my unhappiness with myself too much meaning and power. I have been putting myself down and letting my stress not only take over me, but also take over my relationships. This was happening all because of things that I thought had so much meaning and importance when really in reality, they don’t. I urge all of you to take a step back and look at your lives, look at the people you surround yourself with, but first and foremost look at yourself. Are you happy? Do you enjoy your life? What is making this time the worst time of the year?

I realized and am still realizing that my life was being controlled by what I thought was right and what I thought made me happy. But I am putting a stop to that now, and you should, too.

So I started by making a list. I know what you’re thinking -- at first I thought this was stupid, too, but I made a list of what made me happy and what made me a better person. But above all I made a list of what actually was meaningful to me.

Although some may consider this selfish, I advise you to put yourself first. Part of the reason you’re feeling the way you do is because you don’t know yourself. I have lost sight in what I believe in and what I stand for. This is partially because I am so sick and tired of doing the same thing every day. I am so tired of being at school and not being surrounded by family. But most of all I am so tired of not feeling good.

So start by being honest with yourself; start by making your list. Learn about yourself, learn what you need to take out or add to your life to give you balance. I have found that something as simple as not being able to go to the gym everyday due to a full time job is disconnecting me from myself. I am not giving myself the things I need to be happy. Day by day, I am taking out the things in my life that are making me stressed and making me the crazy person who hates her life. I am finding over time that I am feeling relieved, less dejected, and I am feeling happiness reenter my life, almost as if a weight has been lifted.

I am still in the progress of finding what makes me happy and what works best for me. But addressing the problems and issues that you have with you and your life is the first step in the journey to happiness and arguably the toughest part. So give yourself time, think about your life, and take away what is stressing you out! For once, it is okay to be selfish. If you could take one thing away from this, take away that you can make the choice. The choice to reconsider aspects of your life you gave meaning to. And with this you will always be able to create the outcome you want for yourself and for your life.