Some of the greatest advice I have ever received in life came from a Brazilian woman named France. Can't make this stuff up, I swear. France would always say, "you're not that special."
I'm sure that doesn't sound like a very sympathetic or compassionate thing to say, but France's words of wisdom are pure genius when it comes down to it.
See, France is a psychotherapist, so this advice was being given to a room full of people coping with depression and anxiety. So her advice, to remember that you're not that special was one of the most liberating things in the entire world.
It wasn't about being inferior or unimportant. It was about freeing yourself from the pressures we struggle under. Not blaming ourselves for bad things happening in life. Letting ourselves just exist and be enough.
When my grandfather died I blamed myself. I told myself that it was somehow my fault that he had a stroke. In retrospect, I realize how silly that was. I do not control the health of other people. So while his death was tragic, it wasn't my fault. Simply put, I'm not that special. I can't make anyone feel sick.
Your friend is mad at you? You can't control their emotions. Someone leaves you? They make their own choices. Someone dies? It is a tragic part of life. Cut yourself some slack, the weight of the world doesn't ride on your shoulders.
You are not that special.
You're human, and part of that is making mistakes and suffering losses and rolling with the punches. Just don't put those hardships on yourself. Life is hard and cruel and mean, but it is like that to everyone. So don't take misfortune personally, don't blame yourself, and don't ever forget what France says. You're not that special.
