Loneliness. The feeling of being alone.

Some people may like being alone; however, I do not. I like to surround myself with friends. I hate walking alone in the school hallways. I hate sitting alone at a table by myself. I hate thinking that I am alone in this vast world. I hate it all.

There was a time when I felt that way. Back then I used to feel as if there was no one in the world by my side. Of course, I did have friends back then. But I still felt alone in this world. Like no one is by my side. I did have some people that I occasionally greeted and talked with but there were very few. And most of them were part of a friend group that I was obviously not included in.

It may not seem much, but to me it felt as if I was completely isolated from society. No one to talk to and no one to even glance at. The reason why I felt so isolated from this society was because most people had their own groups. And it was always hard to fit into a group. To be honest, even making friends for me is pretty difficult back then and now. I am occasionally introverted. I did get better over the years, but there are times when I still do feel uncomfortable without a best friend I can fully rely on.

My trust in friends mainly fell because of this experience last year.

I was close friends with someone who was part of a group. I wanted to join the group but it seems that I was pushed away every time I tried to slowly crawl my way into the group. It might have been nothing but this year, that close friend was reunited with her old friend and suddenly, that friend became a part of that group. I became pretty agitated afterwards. Either way, that close friend barely made any effort to talk to me. I've tried talking with her but there was rarely any reply. Nowadays, the only texts I get from that person is basically using me to ask questions about school.

Either way, even if it was just one friend, I felt as if I've been used by all my other close friends. There are a few exceptions, of course. But almost all of my friends have asked me for help on school work. I always gave them my help but I barely got anything back. I got abandoned. To be honest, back in my previous articles, I talked about my crush. One of the main reasons I like him is because I can relate to him a lot. There was a time that I noticed him staring awkwardly at his phone while his close friends were all happily talking with one another. I felt like we shared the same feeling of loneliness.

But what I wanted to tell you all was that you shouldn't get dejected because of this. As a person who overcame this obstacle, I urge you all to break out of your shell and to find friends yourself. Don't be shy and don't be afraid to ask someone if they want to hang out. They will want to. And if they don't, then they're missing out on the chance to hang out with the most amazing person.

The main reason I felt compelled to share my story was because I wanted people to know that you're not alone. I do feel like there are many like me who feel or have felt alone. In fact, there are people who have no one to talk to at all. Either way, I wanted to still fight my way through this lonely world. I wanted to look for a way to find a group of friends. I wanted to live without worries and with people I can rely.

And here I am surrounded by so many friendly faces and a life without worries and people I can rely on.