I sat half-asleep in an 8 a.m. English 103 class on a cold, January morning. I had been in this class for a few weeks and had already managed to skip a few days. It was second semester of my Freshmen year, a semester that would eventually shape the person I am today. I had been going through the motions of, "why am I here?"
My professor was beginning to explain our first assignment; I had zoned out because let's be real, I can just read the directions on Blackboard later. So I sat half-asleep, not caring and then I heard her speak.
"Who are you at the end of the day when no one is watching? What is your story?"
Me? I don't have a story.
But then she began to tell a story of a previous student that suffered from insomnia and couldn't focus so she wrote down her story, it saved her. Was this what I needed to hear? Didn't I have the same problem? My own thoughts kept me up late at night and haunted me. I have words I wanted, I needed to say but didn't know how to get them out.
The professor told us to write down our story, whatever came to our mind, just write it down. Even if you think it doesn't matter, write it down.
I ran back to my dorm. Okay, I didn't run but I power-walked. I turned on a Led Zeppelin album, poured a cup of coffee, and I just wrote.
What did I write about? You might laugh but I wrote about my high school gym class; a tale of survival and embarrassment. We'll save that story for a later time.
That night, I slept. I didn't stare at my ceiling and dream of myself being a different person. I didn't question my name or replay past experiences.
So it worked.
It worked enough that the next day, I did the same thing. I wrote down whatever came to my mind, anything that bothered me I wrote it down. Guess what? It helped again.
The reason why I write isn't because I want someone to notice my name on a Facebook share. I write because it saved my life. Because my life is far from simple. Because at the end of the day, when no one is watching I am a very broken and strong person.
So here's the deal; we all have a story. We all have a reason to be. There is a story behind everything we do. There is a reason why someone doesn't smile or why someone laughs all the time. We all have something we want to tell the world. Isn't that why I am writing this and have wrote everything else? Because I have something to say and it keeps me up at night. I have to share my story with the world.
I fail all the time. I've hit parked cars, tripped down the stairs, dropped coffee in the kitchen, and broke my nose at Walmart. Listen to me, I am far from perfect.
Because whenever I fail, I come back stronger. That's my story.
So you're probably thinking the same thing I thought, "My story doesn't matter."
You're here, aren't you? You are contributing to society, right? You matter, it may seem like you don't when all around you celebrities are trending. But you matter. Your story might help someone else out. Your existence might give hope to a struggling person. All those motivational stories we read, you know the cliche "I found help stories," they all came from someone who thought they didn't matter. They turn into Best Sellers and appear on shelves of Barnes & Noble. They obviously matter to someone.
So what is it that keeps you up at night, what haunts you? What is the thing that made you this person? What is your story?
Now write it.