Everyone knows the big name celebrity couples: Jay Z and Beyonce, Kim and Kanye, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. I even remember back in high school when there was that one couple that got together freshman year and continued to date all throughout high school. We see these pictures on social media or see them in real life and think to ourselves, "Wow they're totally relationship goals." But what if we stopped comparing ourselves to them? The point of a relationship is to grow with someone and to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. How can we do so if we are living in a state of complete competition?
The crazy thing about relationships that everyone seems to be forgetting is that each person is unique. Your relationship with your partner is different from the couple next to you or the celebrity couple that is plastered through social media. We tend to forget that our relationships are unique as well. Your relationship with your partner is not exactly like the one that Stephen Curry and Ayesha Curry have. We each have special bonds and different milestones in our relationships. So it is not fair to yourself or to your partner to be comparing your relationship to another couple's when you are at different milestones and stages in your relationship.
This also goes for those long-term couples that are watching their friends just now get into a relationship. Do not compare your relationship to theirs by thinking that the new relationship has more intimacy and romance than yours, which therefore means your relationship is not working. That is so far from true. Those two people are just starting to get to know each other and are still in the "honeymoon phase" where everything is new and their partner is too perfect for words. Most, if not all, people go through this stage once they start dating. You and your partner may have already gone past the honeymoon phase and are moving towards a more serious and mature relationship. That's OK! You two are at a different stage and milestone in your relationship than your friend's new relationship.
If we continue to compare our relationships to other people's, then that may only lead to bad things. Yes it is good to keep standards high in your relationship, and yes, your partner should treat you differently from how he or she treats their friends, but just because someone bought a dozen roses for their partner and dropped it off on their front porch and your partner doesn't do that, doesn't mean that he or she doesn't love you in the same magnitude that the other person loves their partner. They love you in a different way. Love is more than how many presents your partner gives you.
It is natural to look at other people's relationships and compare, but we should be better about realizing some things. One, everyone's relationship is different. Two, each person is unique in their way of expressing love. So instead, try to think about the way your partner expresses their love for you rather than comparing what they don't do. Third, think about things this way — you only post the highlights of your relationship of social media. No one posts about their problems, fights or hardships on social media. What we see on social media is just a piece of their puzzle of a relationship; so it is not fair to your relationship to compare your whole puzzle to just one of their pieces.
Enjoy your wonderfully messy creation of a puzzle that is your love and your relationship.
