A good bar is stocked with various spirits, each carrying its own unique twists, flavors, and finishes. Your friend group, just like these liquors, is a collection of vibrant, varied, and spirited individuals. So pop open that liquor cabinet, pour yourself a cocktail, and try to figure out whether Sarah is more of a Tequila or a Vodka.

1. Gin - Hipster Trendsetter

Gin has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor that only her closest friends find funny. She likes buying local when she can, and makes sure people know when she does. Gin feels guilty every time she eats a McChicken and has been contemplating becoming a vegan for the past 3 years. You know that new fad you just saw in a magazine? Yeah, Gin started wearing it before it was cool.

2. Vodka - Pilates Partier

Vodka is classy, cute, and can handle her liquor (most of the time). Her idea of fun is a night out with the gals at a Vegas-themed bar. She has a great body and works for it, too, at a weekly Pilates class where Brad, the Pilates instructor, has definitely been giving her the “eye” for the past three weeks. She’s thinking about wearing her Lululemon leggings next week to show off her tight ass because if that won’t make it clear to him that she wants to be asked out, she doesn’t know what will.

3. Whiskey - Likes to Stroke His Beard While Thinking

Whiskey wears a lot of tweed. He went to England one time two summers ago and won’t let you forget it. Whiskey has been spelling his name without the “e” because it reminds him of how his entire perspective on life changed while he was distillery-hopping across the pond. He thinks he’s deep because he sports a mustache that reminds you of a black-and-white picture of your Great Uncle Bernard from the 40’s.

4. Rum - Brand-Name Beach Bum

Rum’s skin is always slightly tanned from his last beach vacation. His hair smells like salt, and so does his skin. You’re under a growing suspicion that he wakes up every morning and douses himself with a beach-scented cologne because there is no way somebody can smell that salty in Ohio. Rum’s favorite artist is Bob Marley, and he hangs a Jamaican flag above his $5000 TV to show his support of Rasta culture.

5. Tequila - Banned from Uber

Tequila la-la-loooooves to party. She is gregarious and seems to have a kindred friendship with everybody on campus. You think you’re close with her, but since she refers to everybody as her best friend you’re not entirely sure. She’s fun to go out with, but you know there is a good chance you’ll be carrying her home from the bar tonight. I mean, you definitely can’t take an Uber since the last time you did she threw up in the car and Mohamed wasn’t too happy about her puking in his Camry.

All you alcohol lovers can try local and renowned Gins and Vodkas at the Columbus Gin and Vodka Festival on Saturday, August 19. You can buy tickets at ColumbusGinandVodkaFestival.com