Today I had to drive for a few hours for my job, so my dad gave a book on tape about positivity to listen to. Now, I didn't really like the book, but it did help me to realize that if I'm having a bad day then it's my fault. Recently, I noticed that I had been having a lot of bad days and I always had an explanation for why--things like 'I didn't get enough sleep' or 'things just have not been going my way.' But as I was listening to the book on tape, I realized that if I'm having a bad day, it's my fault. Crap happens and sometimes there is absolutely nothing we can do about what's happening around us, but we always have control over how we react to what's happening.
Recently, I have been letting people and events decide how my day goes. I let myself sit there thinking about everything that is going wrong instead of saying, "Yep, this sucks but you know what, I am going to be O.K." So now I have decided to take control. I am no longer giving people and events any control over me. Sure, I will feel frustrated sometimes. I will feel angry sometimes. I will feel sad sometimes. But only sometimes. I won't let 5 minutes or 30 minutes or even one hour out of my day decide how the rest of it will go.
At this point, you might be thinking "It's all fine and dandy to decide to change, but how are you going to do it, Abby?" That is a good question. Cue my fail-proof plan.
Step 1: Squash My Bad Thoughts
A lot of the time, I catch myself ruminating on bad things so first things first I need to squash my bad thoughts that drag me down. Any thoughts that fall into the groups listed below need to go.
A. Self doubt
B. Criticizing others
C. Worry
D. Complaints about things like other peoples treatment of me, dissatisfaction with my life or really just any complaint.
(this list can go on for a long time so I'm not going to write them all down)
Step 2: Replace My Bad Thoughts With Good Ones
So after I have cleared out my bad thoughts I need to add good thoughts. My new thoughts will fit into these categories:
A. Good things about me.
B. Good things about others.
C. Thankfulness to God for the amazing life I have been given.
Step 3: Replace My Bad Actions With Good Ones
Changing your thoughts is nice, but I need to take this a step farther. I need to change my actions. But how?
A. I'm going to fake it until I make it!
- Life might not be going like I want, but that doesn't mean I have to act like it. Scientists have proven that smiling even when you are not actually feeling happy will make you start feeling happier.
B. I'm going to look for good stuff.
-Too often, we look for what can go wrong or why it went wrong instead of looking for what can go right and how good has come from something bad.
C. I'm going to make those around me feel happy.
-The first thing I catch myself doing when I have a bad day is making other people's day bad by being short-tempered or sometimes even saying things simply to hurt their feelings. So now instead of focusing on how my day has been bad, I'm going to focus on how I can make other people's day better.
D. I'm going to treat every door way like shower.
-Too often, we take negativity from one place to the next letting it build up like mud on boots. I'm going to use every doorway as a shower to wash away the stress accumulated from this building so that I can move on to the next building a happier and lighter person.
E. I'm going to no longer make excuses for myself.
-I always have an excuse for why I didn't do something. No more. I make time for what is important to me if I don't get something done its because I didn't make it important to me.
I'm not saying that I have to treat every day of my life like it's the best day of my life; what I am saying though is that, a lot of the time, a day could be a good one if we chose to treat it like one. Obviously the day that a loved one dies isn't a day you can turn around, but just because you blew a tire on the way to work, or a McDonald's worker accidentally spilled your breakfast on you doesn't mean all of your day is ruined. If you find yourself having an inordinate amount of bad days or a general feeling of dissatisfaction with your life, then I hate to have to tell you this but... It's probably your fault, also!
