I have never been tiny in my life. Growing up, I was always a little bit chunkier than all the other kids. I’ve had thick thighs since elementary school and I gain weight very easily. I played sports as a kid and was always active, but I could never shake the fact that I was big. I’ve always hated my body. I hate that it is so unconventional and that I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I look at all my slimmer friends and I become completely envious of their bodies. I think of what it would be like to be a normal body size.

The worst part about my body is buying clothing. I love to shop and I love clothes, but whenever I go shopping, I end up feeling terrible about myself. I’ll try on a shirt that is my size and it won’t fit. It’s either too tight in my arms or I can’t button it over my boobs. When it does fit, it’s usually so tight to my skin that I’m forced to look at every single roll on my body. It pains me when I try on my typical pants size, only to find out I need a size or two bigger. I would look at myself and think, “you’re disgusting.”

Not anymore.

I am tired of being told that I’m not beautiful because my body is unconventional.

I am tired of being told that I need to lose weight because my body is gross.

I am tired of people saying that they have to be skinny.

I am tired of people not feeling beautiful because of other people saying they aren’t.

When did your body become the judge of your character? I can’t stand that people judge a person simply by the way they look. I would much rather be friends with someone who is obese with the sweetest and kindest heart than someone who has an average body and is completely nasty to everyone. Your body does not determine if you are a good person. I can’t stand that people won't talk to someone because they are too chubby or too skinny.

Instead of judging those people, think about what they’re going through. Think about how hard they have tried to gain or lose weight. For some people, it’s the easiest thing in the world. For people like me, it’s not. I’ve tried numerous times but it’s hard. I haven’t given up and I guarantee anyone else who is like me will tell you the same thing. It’s not that we aren’t trying, it’s just that it's going to take us longer to find something that works for us.

Don’t make people feel bad because their body isn’t, what society has deemed, conventional. I’m not saying we should encourage obesity or anorexia, but I am saying we should recognize a person for who they are and not what they look like. Build them up. Make them realize their true beauty. Encourage them to embrace themselves and make changes as they see necessary. Be there to listen and support them. Remind them that beauty comes from within. We need to start building people up instead of tearing them down.

Stop shaming. Stop saying it's a person's fault that they're obese or underweight. Sometimes they just can't help themselves. Emotional eating and voluntary starvation are real things. Some people just think they are so far gone that no amount of dieting can help them so they keep eating their feelings. Others are so ashamed for even looking slightly different that they will starve themselves just to look "normal". Not to mention, we live in a culture where it's cheaper to buy a Big Mac meal at McDonalds than fresh fruit and vegetables at the grocery store. We live in a time period where being broke/having little money or always being busy means you can't always have a fresh and healthy meal.

Instead of body shaming, let's body build. Let's give people confidence. Let's make them realize that their true beauty comes from within. Not only that, but let's help them realize that the "super model body" is just a social construct.