To My Younger Self Struggling With Depression, It's A Journey That —With Love — Can Be Tackled

To My Younger Self Struggling With Depression, It's A Journey That —With Love — Can Be Tackled

Your mental health isn't something to hide, it's ok.


Dear younger self,

I see you sitting on your bed, tear stains across your face, makeup smeared on your pillow. I know your heart feels like it's going to burst out of it's chest and all you can feel is numb. I know you're confused, wondering why you feel this way.

It's okay.

I know you're scared. You can't seem to find the answers or piece together why you feel like the world is crumbling at your feet. I'm here to tell you it's okay.

It's okay that you feel like that. I know it hurts and I know you're scared. It's okay. The best advice I can give you is to talk to mom. Mom can help you so much more than you realize. I know you think she won't understand, but she does, more than you could ever know.

I know you feel like the pain will never go away. As if there will never be a time where you feel okay for more than a couple days. You will. As you get older, the pain is going to fade. I can't promise you that everyday is going to be like walking through the tulips, but your better days will outnumber your bad.

You'll find yourself meeting new people and trying new things, and falling in love with your life along the way. Your unexplained sadness will vanish into the cloud of darkness around your head. You will be okay.

This dark rut that you're in is going to make you stronger than you could imagine. After this, you'll be able to take on the world. Your energy will grow, your smile will return. You are your own kind of beautiful and soon you'll start to see it. Your boyfriend, who you absolutely adore, is going to give you the same energy you give him. And it's going to feel amazing.

You are going to tackle an amazing journey towards your degree. You're going to have not 1 but 3 different jobs that you love. Your name is going to be known around the world for your choreography (you'll be surprised when you learn what kind).

You are an amazing girl. I know it's hard. I know you don't know what to do. This is one of the most confusing times in your life because, while your life is great, you can't help but sit in silence at night, wondering why you feel so numb.

Honey, you have depression, anxiety and even P.T.S.D. You struggle with mental illnesses that are hard to understand, especially when they're happening to you. Constantly wondering what's wrong with you, when in reality, you're just fighting your own demons. You have a fight against a hidden evil that not many can see you have. You'll continue to put a smile on your face day by day because deep inside you know your own strength.

And you know what else?

Take a deep breath, look yourself in the mirror and say...

You're going to be okay.


National Suicide Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255 - available 24/7

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Poetry On Odyssey: Depression Isn't Taken Seriously Until You Commit Suicide

According to society, until you commit suicide, your feelings aren't valid.


"You're only seeking attention." Until you commit suicide.

"You just want everybody to feel sorry for you." Until you commit suicide.

"You're not actually stressed out." Until you commit suicide.

"You don't actually feel that way." Until you commit suicide.

"What do you even have in your life to be depressed about?" Until you commit suicide.

"You're just not trying hard enough to be happy." Until you commit suicide.

"You just like to complain about your problems." Until you commit suicide.

"Depression isn't real." Until you commit suicide.

"Your life can't be that hard." Until you commit suicide.

"You have too many good things in your life to feel that way." Until you commit suicide.

"You're just trying to be negative." Until you commit suicide.

"You're just psycho." Until you commit suicide.

"You don't know what struggling really feels like." Until you commit suicide.

"The world doesn't revolve around you." Until you commit suicide.

"It's not like it's the end of the world." Until you commit suicide.

"You're not actually sad." Until you commit suicide.

No one takes your depression seriously, commit suicide.

If this article hits home, it's okay to speak up. Seek help if you need it, you are not alone.

National Suicide Prevention Line: 1-800-273-8255

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