You Still Get To Me

You still get to me.

I remember first meeting you and thinking I‘d never get you and when I finally did, it was everything I ever wanted, or so I thought. Eventually my world faded and you were the only thing that controlled me. I thought I was so in love, I was blinded by you as all my friends and family watched me push them away.

You still get to me.

I remember lying in bed for months not understanding why or how this happened when you left me. I thought I would never recover from this; I thought I had to get you back. My world seemed to be crashing down around me and I was alone because you convinced me that you were my world.

I pushed through though, and I built myself back up. I picked up all the pieces you broke, one by one, and made myself better. I was moving on, I was finally over you. I wake up and you are no longer the first thing on my mind. Years have passed and I am doing so much better than I would ever be doing if I were still with you. Yet, you still find a way.

You still get to me.

I find you in my thoughts at 3 am when I can’t sleep and my mind wonders off. When a new guy comes into my life I can’t help but compare him to you. When I hear your name, I can’t breathe for a second. I’ve worked hard to build myself back up and become this strong, yet you still find a way to get through the walls I’ve put up.

I was innocent at one point. I saw the good in it all. Love was a great thing, something that just couldn’t go wrong. It all seemed so easy, but you destroyed that image for me. You ruined a piece of me that I can’t fix. Love isn’t always perfect and you can fall for someone who will manipulate and destroy you. Someone who makes it their goal to tear you down, someone who will tell you everything you want to hear and then cheat on you. I'ts all a game and you have to play it right or you can lose yourself. God knows I did.

You still get to me.

I now lay here perfectly happy, years later, surrounded with brand new people and in a new place, yet you still have a way of creeping into my thoughts. I may have moved on and I may be much better than I was when I was falling apart, but damn did I make a mistake falling for you years ago. It seems that when I had to pick up all the pieces you broke, one was missing and it’s a piece I’ll never be able to erase of you because regardless of how bad you were for me;

You still get to me.