I was a freshman in high school, just 14 years old. You invited me to your house to do homework and you lied to me and told me your mom knew that I was there. You didn’t listen when I said no and afterwards you walked me home. You made me ashamed of myself and what happened, for years I blamed myself for what you did to me. Recently I came to the realization that for me to heal, I need to forgive you.

I forgive you, but I will never forget what you did to me. For years I blamed myself as if it was my fault that you didn’t listen to me when I clearly told you no. You took advantage of my trust and it took me years to fully trust another person again. It has taken me until college to forgive you. In order to forgive you, I had to realize that it was not my fault and that I am valued, I am not someone that can just be used and treated like an object.

I also forgive all those people who didn’t believe me, I told you in confidence about what happened, and you went and spread rumors and told people that I was lying. I forgive you, because you taught me not to believe rumors, and what everyone says. Some of you were my close friends, and I felt betrayed by you. I didn’t understand why anyone would do that to their friend, you hurt me because I was scared to walk through the halls of my high school, somewhere I thought I was safe.

I constantly feared that someone would say something to me. Only one person ever did though. They asked if I was okay and that was honestly one of the only good things to come out of that whole situation. I knew that someone cared about me in the school, someone wanted to know that I was okay and from that moment on I knew that I would be.

You both took advantage of my trust and used it against me. I forgive you simply because I need to move on. I cannot keep letting what you did to me control me and linger in my thoughts. Now as a sophomore in college, I can talk about what happened to me without feeling ashamed and I know that you can’t hurt me anymore.

I know that I can use my voice as a sexual assault victim for those that haven’t found theirs yet and I am fully prepared to scream at the top of my lungs for them until they find it, and even after they find it. I can finally hold my head up while walking and sit in the front of the classroom. I know that I don’t have to hide anymore, and I guess I need to thank you because I am so much stronger than before you sexually assaulted me, you taught me that my voice is important, and I need to use it.

I intend on doing so.