Do you need a break? I did, but I didn't listen to what my mind and body were telling me and I paid severely for it.
We all have those moments when we feel the weight of the world is on our shoulders. That sense that there are so many things that need to be done, but not enough time in the day to complete them. As students, we are constantly pushing ourselves to the brink of breaking, all for that perfect GPA. We lose track of taking care of ourselves in pursuit of the future, while we should be worried about ourselves now. These things catapult us into a downward spiral. We slowly but surely drain ourselves to the point of sickness. Is it really worth it?
In all of this, staying up late, eating poorly and stressing over everything, we eventually loosen our grip on reality and what's important. Last semester, I drove myself into the ground. Constantly worrying over every little thing caused breakdowns. I was a freshman. I didn't know how to manage the stress. I was so tired. I wanted to go home. I wanted to give up. I ran myself into the ground and my mom knew it. I needed a break. Did I take it? The answer = No. Looking back, I regret it. Even on anxiety medication, I was suffering from panic attacks at least once a day. (I even had one in the elevator of my dorm, luckily I was alone.) My anxiety got the best of me. It tore me to pieces when I needed to be at my best. I pushed myself through it, but finals week was the last straw in taking me down. I hadn't slept more than eight hours in three days. I wasn't eating, relying on energy shots and coffee to study and get through exams. There was no water, no real food. My mind and body were shot. I was done. I don't even know how I got through it. By the time I returned home, I was sick, underweight and battling against my own body. I wasn't myself anymore. I did all of these things to myself when I knew I needed to take a breather.
Going home for the summer was exactly what I needed. I went back to my old routine. I slowly built my mental and physical health back to where it needed to be. It took several weeks to keep myself calm and contain the panic attacks. I didn't look at my grades for weeks. I wanted to forget it all happened. I wanted my mom to build me back up. I wanted to be me again. I needed to protect myself.
In my second year of college, I've learned the signs. I now know that when my body tells me to slow down, I need to listen. I need to take a break. Going back to that unhealthy place in my life is not an option. So take it from me and take a break. It won't kill you. Don't run yourself down. Take a breather. Take a minute. Take a day. Just take a break for your sake. The future will be waiting there if you take care of yourself now.
